I won't let it happen again *please look*

quadraptor's picture
Okay guys, I know you have seen me vent on this site since Dad and Mason died. I was using this place to escape, and from now on I won't vent here anymore. I'm going to take Ocean and Pega's advice, and when I need to vent, I'll type it onto a word document so I can delete it instead of posting it here. I've also set aside a bunch of CDs to listen to when I'm getting in a bad mood.

I deleted my updates page because it was where I was venting the most, so please retrack it if you need to.

But I need one more thing, and please read this below:

Please accept my apology.

I'm sorry for everything I've done on here that I shouldn't have. I'm sorry that I have been venting on this community, it wasn't right for me to do so. I'm sorry for asking for so much artwork, and also being jealous of people's art skills. I'm sorry that I shove my characters into everyone's face and talk about them so much. I'm sorry that I have been degrading myself and constantly telling myself that I'm worthless. I'm sorry if I ever said anything in the chatrooms that offended anyone or wasn't appropriate. I forget sometimes who I am talking to. I'm sorry that I come off as being pompous or snobby, I really don't ever intend to sound like it. I'm sorry for all the drama I caused on here.

And from this moment on, I won't let it happen again.

Any time I ever start to fall apart, I have my resources to take my sadness and frustration elsewhere. From this moment on, it will no longer be posted here.

I love each and every one of you. So please accept my apology.

Apology accepted! I

Apology accepted! I appreciate you making an effort to keep TEF a positive place but if you ever do need advice, let us know. Smiling
z.m123's picture

Apology accepted♥ But

Apology accepted♥
But me you didn't hurt though

Apology accepted :') vents

Apology accepted :') vents and rants are okay, but maybe not on the community site. And they shouldn't really deserve their own blogs.
I have never thought of you as pompous or snobby, btw xD
shamiya's picture

*hugs*

*hugs*
Wotsits's picture

&hearts

&hearts


Pegasicorn's picture

*hugs*

*hugs*
onyxsoulclaw's picture

WTF! Look I just popped in

WTF! Look I just popped in and saw this.... Why are you appoligising?

You have feelings, emotions and needs the same as anyone. Sometimes it's good to get them out in the open then others can help and offer morral support. If you keep it to yourself it could do more harm than good. You mean so much to many people here and alot of us will help others as much as we can. thats what friends and communitees do.

As for venting/ ranting you an't done nout compared to some. You should not feel bad about it. You've been through more than alot of people have. You will probly have alot of bumbs to roll over on life high way and your friend are the tow trucks to help you. But tow truck cant fix things if they dont kknow whats going on.

You are also one of the most sincer people around here.

I will say i will "accept" your appolo. But I don't belive you ever need to ask people for it. I will never scold you for telling the truth or expressing your emotion.

If it helps try putting your emotion in to art or a poem or something , that way we can see it and it's tecnicaly not ranting even a page of colours can help.

In life you should never feel your alone, knowing people who care are near by is importaint. Please take lots care. Love to the family.
Zeekii's picture

Apology accepted, but you

Apology accepted, but you never hurt or bothered me either, I always thought you were a very friendly member not snobby or anything like that at all. There's no need to apologise, you're only human like the rest of us!
quadraptor's picture

Thanks everyone. Onyx - It's

Thanks everyone.

Onyx - It's my own personal demon, I'm always worried about offending people or being so annoying that people would get tired of hearing from me, so I wanted to draw the line for myself. What has been happening lately is I will get into this mindset where I'm not thinking properly, and just will start degrading myself. So what I was doing was posting it in my updates page, as well as talking about it on MSN and in the few chatrooms I go to.

I'm in a better mindset now, I think after playing this game last night I really learned a lot about myself. Ironic, isn't it?

I've been in a downward spiral since Dad's death - I think it's time to get out of it and get back to enjoying life.
Kaoori's picture

I have to agree- why are you

I have to agree- why are you apologizing?
You're fine, Quad. I don't think you've 'ranted' at all- you've reached out to friends, and friends helped. That's what they do.
Smiling
quadraptor's picture

I think this is what I'm

I think this is what I'm afraid of, and this might be what I'm going through. I know Wikipedia isn't the most reliable source but getting a little information on all this really helps understanding it.

"Depressed people may think of themselves in very negative, unrealistic ways such as manifesting a preoccupation with past "failures", personalisation of trivial events, or believing that minor mistakes prove their inadequacy. They also may have an unrealistic sense of personal responsibility and see things beyond their control as being their fault. Additionally, self-loathing is common in clinical depression, and can lead to a downward spiral when combined with other symptoms."

"People suffering with depression tend to lose interest in things they once found enjoyable. Activities are no longer enjoyable. People who are depressed may say, "I just don't care anymore," or "nothing matters anymore." Friends and family of the depressed person may notice that he/she has withdrawn from friends, or has neglected or quit doing activities that were once a source of enjoyment."
IoRez's picture

We ♥ you too,

We ♥ you too, Quad.
Into every life, a little rain must fall. No apology is necessary.
trigger_mortis's picture

While of course I'll accept

While of course I'll accept it, really no apology is needed Quad. We care for you because we want to, not because we feel we need to.

As has been said previously, although you have vowed not to, if you ever need advice or just someone to listen, we are here for you, because that's what a community is.

As well, if you ever need to talk in a more private setting, I'm always available by msn or email to offer a supportive ear.

<3 You're wonderful Quad, and I hope you can find peace and happiness with yourself soon.
Flyra's picture

Oh, come on, Quad, you're one

Oh, come on, Quad, you're one of the most loveliest persons around here, for real. There's absolutely no need to apology, and as far as I know nobody felt personally offended by your vent posts, or otherwise bugged, did they? If so, I truly wouldn't understand why. If you feel like you don't want to post vent blogs on here anymore, of course we will accept that. We will always accept you, no matter how and who you are. And so far you've proven to be worth a thousand things more than our acceptance. So there, have my love and respect and open arms whenever you need them.


Take care.
f l y r a b l o g avatar by tinkee, sig by Quamar
eyestrain's picture

Reading what you linked was

Reading what you linked was like a punch to the gut.


Quad, you're not alone.
It means something to me to know I'm not alone.
Take care of yourself, ok?

Maybe venting is something you don't need to share with everyone. But you can share with me.

I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
ocean's picture

Always accepted, though never

Always accepted, though never needed!~
I hope it works for you, Quad. ♥

From someone diagnosed with

From someone diagnosed with depression I fully understand how it feels.
I accept your apology even though there's nothing you need to apologize for, you're one of the sweetest people here.
I have never seen you vent, I have only ever seen you ask for comfort from friends.
You're a lovely person, don't forget that.

And always feel free to email or IM me, my contact is on my personal blog <3
This account is a biography holder. Nothing more.
SentrySeb's picture

Quad- I know your intents

Quad- I know your intents were blurry at the time, but in all honesty, putting me down and laughing at me was not ok. I expect better of you, really. But I will try to accept you apology.

Please, please no more putting me down, or laughing at me.

Ps. If you do not belong in the conversation I am having with quad right now, do NOT tell me to lay off. It isn't nice, and I WILL get angry at you. It isn't you buisness, and it never will be. I have the right to tell Quad how I feel.

E; I actually was having a great time having fun with you, and when I sw you in the forest for the first time, to me, you were like the sun, making me happy, and making me want to FEEL. I don't know anymore...





quadraptor's picture

Sentry - Please reread the

Sentry -

Please reread the comment I left for you. In no way do I 'put you down' or 'laugh at you', I'm simply stating my observations. That is the only thing I have ever said to you, and in return you have been holding a grudge against me.

This topic has nothing to do with you. My comment in the topic I linked was in no way associated with my depression.
SentrySeb's picture

Dude. I know what you were

Dude. I know what you were stating. but in the chatroom, you blew it up in my face, laughing at what someone put there. That IS mean, and rude. I expected better of you, bu you didn't get i. I said sorry, but you still are aware you hate me. Leave me alone if you don't like what I say.





quadraptor's picture

If I was laughing at anything

If I was laughing at anything in the chat, it had nothing to do with you.

I'll say this one more time, this topic has nothing to do with you, so please drop it. I have not said anything against you aside from that one post.

Sentry. i belong I'm this

Sentry.
i belong I'm this conversation because quad is my friend.

And you caught me on a bad day in the wrong place.

Ready?

Get. Over. Yourself.
You know what I think of you?
i think you're a petty ignorant foolish spoilt little child who thinks the world revolves around them and that everyone needs to treat like royalty, I think you hurt people's feelings a lot but you don't care because in your little world the only one who matters is you.
Well you know what? Let me give you a reality check.
You
Don't
Matter
In the long run, all you're doing is being idiotic and making yourself look selfish, you never look at other. People's opinions because you think the only one who matters is you.

Take a reality check. And realize that you're not as important as you wish you were.
This account is a biography holder. Nothing more.

Quad, as many have said,

Quad, as many have said, there's no need for apologies. We all love you here, and know you're going through a hard time. If you ever want to chat, I'm on MSN daily. We're here for you.
Snowsauria's picture

You don't have to apologize,

You don't have to apologize, Quad. If there is anyone here who actually have a good reason to vent, it has to be you.
I'm glad to hear you're thinking of the community and will vent elsewhere, but still, if you need to talk, we will listen. <3
OkamiLugia's picture

&hearts;

Redkora's picture

Quad, you can e-mail/chat

Quad, you can e-mail/chat with me whenever you need to do so. I'm not a psychotherapist, but I have dealt with depression and OCD for years (and have the Zoloft Rx to prove it).

<3
[pixel deer by Aldebaran]

Quad! Sends cookie filled

Quad! Sends cookie filled hug.
If ever you wana talk or vent Im happy to listen. Something I find that somettimes helps is :

take some paper write down the happy things. Like um TEF, the fondest memories of family, all the things that make you smile. Include positive things people say about you like they have here: Polite, helpful, supportive, friendly, cool, respectable etc etc.

Take the good things and place it under you pillow (offering a pray dont hurt) Hold the image of those smiles and laughter. Go to sleep.

Then every day when you wake hold those thoughts and carry them with you each day. Your not trying to acheeve them you just need to remind yourself you have them. Take lots of care.
quadraptor's picture

Thanks again,

Thanks again, everyone!

Hornhook, that's a great idea! Thank you for sharing that, I will definitely try that!
Kutanra's picture

I never saw your vents but

I never saw your vents but I'm sure it's just like the kind my friends always suffer when they talk to me on MSN. I'm sure it is obvious that no one really minded, its good to see you picking yourself up. I am considering having a vent blog where people can go and post their rants to either get it off their chest or ask for advice (I don't mind, I strive to be a shoulder for everyone's tears), I will check it almost daily for any help requests. So if things ever get a little hectic for you, search for me.
After all. I am Kutanra the Kindly Guide, I help people who lose their way =)
~Kutanra & The Kindly Guide~

...Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours...