...the falling rain...

[EDIT] Bumping because it fell off the front page in about four hours.
Sorry if I seem self centered, but I also had to fix a few typos that messed with the rhythm of the poem. Added a verse, too.







Met with hostile thoughts is attacker and her foe,
Staring at eachother unsure which way they may go.

You insist that you must follow as the two quickly part ways,
But can you hold your ground with his anger-driven gaze?



Quickly turning from you is the stag who you once saw,
Believed to be a calmer buck who's hatred he let thaw.

To ensue this clever contest of who can stop his reign,
Was it truly worth the turmoil and the everlasting pain?

It seemed that way as you tried much to carry-on,
Falling victim to insanity as his rational surely had gone.

A misplaced word and faltered step could lead you to his core,
But it seemed it locked itself away, unreachable as before.

What made him any different after the first few tries?
He greeted you with hosilities in your own surmise.




A group of others stood before the ever-fleeting stag,
He hadn't much to say for, no real need to even brag.

What occurred within mere minutes was to change his next few years,
Living with the ghost of one who's life was made of tears.

He ran soon after in escape, being quick upon his feet,
And yet you followed the injured deer upon his trick retreat.




You couldn't sway what rational he seemed to clutch,
Fought by anger and daring words, you decided you thought too much.




Met with troubled greetings again did stag and fawn,
Yet you managed to watch as their hostilies were widthdrawn.

A group approached the pair of deer defiant of their cues,
This meeting never happened, his existance they refused.

Again you chased the 'foe' with such eagerness to par,
With that of any younger deer who's strength wasn't to mar.





And by the playground did the tribe so tenderly destroy,
The deer who's skin was pierced by both their hatred and their joy.

You couldn't stand to watch what he was rewarded for his words,
That took place not long ago, witness of only you and birds.

You burst forth from you shell and with a charge and a roar,
"So help me luna, I cannot stand this bloodshed anymore!"

A clash of antlers met in a number of about three,
You slammed the sides of both the deer, determined to get them free.

The chase ensued not long after you foolishly interfered,
And so weakened by your heart your strength now disappeared.




Greeted by a stare did you see another in his chase,
But you couldn't stand another life to partake in such disgrace.

You heard of him before this, as his repuptation was,
He was stronger than any other and fought with little cause.

You knew that if the attacker and this older deer would meet,
It would surely end in his victory and the other's defeat.

You lowered your antlers calmly, thinking nothing of context,
Of who you really were up against in this whole horrendous mess.

He tossed his antlers in the air and charged without a thought,
Leaving you in shambles, wounded and distraught.





Fenqua's picture

-speechless- O.O To pray

-speechless- O.O



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Verdalas's picture

I actually can't believe

I actually can't believe Walter attacked him! *Facedesk*

I think it may have been a misunderstanding, as earlier in the lagfest, there was a moment where Wu' lowered his antlers at Walter (Not sure if this was intended). It would have slipped by harmlessley but I think that the time after with them staring at each other just set the old man off..
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@Fenqua:

@Fenqua: ...*pokes*

@Verdalas: Ah, well. xD; No, Wudiin did lower his antlers, on purpose too. I guess he was getting really desperate and was tired of everyone chasing Baal. *shrug* Wudiin tends to get himself into a lot of trouble when he's tired. xD;
Walter's still an awsome deer, though. O: He's been a favorite of mine ever since I first heard about him.
Flyra's picture

I am seriously having to cry

I am seriously having to cry when reading your poems. I really cried. Continue, Shimmy, because you are amazing and Wud is amazing and everything you create is amazing.
*dries tears*

f l y r a b l o g avatar by tinkee, sig by Quamar
Verdalas's picture

Aaah, well then, the fight

Aaah, well then, the fight had a cause then! Chasing after Baal didn't do much good anyway. Lagfest!

I rather like Wudiin myself. <3 Especially the song you placed with him. I could quite say that white stag is a favourite of mine as well. Sticking out tongue
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Seele's picture

Just.. Too epic. I'd love to

Just.. Too epic. I'd love to see more like this from you, such long poems and stuff <3 Just too beautifull to read. Ack, such intresting happenings lately! I'm trying to read myself up to it but it goes with quite a pace! XD Wudiin got a nice view on the things going on. Stop getting yourself in trouble Wud <<""!!

--Stays a lonely Seele

Baal's picture

Wow. Just wow. You have an

Wow. Just wow. You have an incredible way with words! Such an emotional piece. I am sorry if Baal assaulted your Wudiin. But I am also amazed to see someone try to show a moment of a gentler side with him, even when he did not show much kindness their way.

Your Wudiin just couldn't seem to avoid bad moments could he? Poor fellow.

Those screenshots, as I have said before, could almost tell your story without words. You have quite a skill for making an amazing shot. Makes me ponder how good you would be with a real camera.

This is so full of awesome, I really don't even know what to say. You are an amazing wordsmith.
Verycrazygirl's picture

Beautiful, captivating and

Beautiful, captivating and so flowy and pleasent to read.
I love your way with words, it's so advanced and so beautiful. ^^

@Flyra: Eep! Now I feel bad,

@Flyra: Eep! Now I feel bad, hehe! xD; Please don't cry...ahhh! <3
I'm so glad, and flustered, by such kind words! Thank you so much! *digital hug*

....YOU'RE AMAZING. ;D

@Verdalas: Indeed. The lag was....irk. I just got a whole 'nother gig of ram to avoid it, too. Oye.
But at least everyone managed to connect to TEF in the first place, eh?

@Misako: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I don't do them that often because it tends to be a pain when one rhymes so much. And once you get into the rhythm, I have trouble stopping! Wud's getting some pine-cone ice cream today, does Polt want any? xD;

@Baal: Wow! Thank you so much! <3 It's alright, nothing personal, as I don't blame him for lashing out at a deer who was a little to constistant in his tracking of 'em. xD Wudiin tries his best to find the good in others, but once again, he tends to get himself in trouble.
Actually, I'm terrible with a camera, truly! Unfortunatly all the photography classes at my school deal with actual film, and digital just seems so much more convenient. Smiling Thank you so incredibly much, once again, for such lovely words! <3 <3 Baal is such an intriguing deer, I love writing about 'em. Laughing out loud

@VCG: Thank you! I'm quite glad that you enjoyed reading it. I hope that I managed to convey what happened well, as it's kinda tough to explain while rhyming. Heh. Once more, thanks for such compliments! I hope Virgil feels better soon. Smiling

Oh my God! This is absolutly

Oh my God! This is absolutly incredible. I did notice you tracking every moviement the little fawn made. And the screenshot with both Baal and the fawn makes me want to wail. This so beautiful and sad! And, and! I can't even begin to talk about your poetry. I can't hold a candle to you!! This is wonderful oh my. WOW.

Would it be ok if I linked it to the fawn's page so it may not easily be lost again? (that and it's way too pretty no to put up there.) XD

I can't believe this got pushed off so fast! I didn't even get to see it. -surprise surprise-

Flyra's picture

*hugs back* <3 NO, YOU ARE.

*hugs back* <3
NO, YOU ARE. x"D

f l y r a b l o g avatar by tinkee, sig by Quamar

Just beautiful. *-*

Just beautiful. *-*
Kaoori's picture

I love this. Like Baal said,

I love this. Like Baal said, I wonder what wonders you could do with a real camera.

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I'm a little wolf inside a girl.

Lightbringer-apprentice to Yorres