A Bead and A Feather

BluedeerLegend18's picture
When the wind blew, the orange and yellow leaves flew with it. And when they landed, they made a rustling sound, the drum beats of August. But this drum beat was broken, as a new drum beat echoed throughout the golden forest. The nearby Frotchah tribe was dancing and celebrating the birth- a special birth.

And so were the other Frotchah tribes. They danced and celebrated, the drum beats beating though the forest.

And, in a castle, a beautiful castle where the King and Queen lived, the special birth was happening. King Malik looked out the window. He could still hear the drum beats and dancing and celebration. Then he looked around, at all the stained glass. And soon, two little ones will be walking around this castle, looking at all this beautiful glass.

Malik looked up, where a big stained glass window looked down. It showed a purple dragon and a Frotchah, but instead of fighting they were peaceful, and sat down together.

Malik came into the room where Queen Malika lied. She smiled, and pawed at two necklaces. Since they knew she would have twins, they made two necklances so they knew who was who until they were old enough to talk.

Malika lifted up her bushy tail to reveal two squealing female newborn fawns. Malik and Malika smiled, as they squealed playfully.

Malika looked at the two necklaces. One had a bead, the other a feather. She picked up the one with the bead and placed it around one of the fawn's head. "You are Jamirah, little girl." Jamirah squealed loudly as if she approved of the name. Malika took the one with the feather and put it around the other fawn's head. "And you are Lillian, young girl." Lillian didn't say anything, only sat around ignoring her sister.

"Can't you believe that one day, one of these little fawns will be the Queen of Frotaynar?" Malika looked up to Malik and smiled. He smiled back and nodded. "I am sure they will grow up and they will be great princesses."

And, meanwhile, the fawns had no idea what would happen in so many years from now. All they knew was that they were little Frotchah fawns, and good sisters.

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Okay, if you have not noticed now, this is a story ^^

It will explain the history of my newest doe. Critique is appreciated. ALSO COMMENT! because it's awesome.

So yeah. Prologue. Read. Wait for chapter.

It's 12:15. Goodnight.

Very nice, I like how you

Very nice, I like how you spaced out your paragraphs so it's not an obnoxious WALL O' TEXT. Lol.

I really liked it, but my one critique is that the names of the king and queen seem...well, uncreative to be blunt. It also makes it seem like they are siblings and kind of causes a serious confusion as two who is actually the father of the twins, since Malik and Malika would be names for twins in my honest opinion. Otherwise, I really did like the story. :>
BluedeerLegend18's picture

Ha ha, thankies ^^ Yes, I do

Ha ha, thankies ^^

Yes, I do admit I just picked Malik and Malika out of nowhere. Although then I thought of a good reason their names are similar. The reason will be explained in a later chapter, which I'm working on right now.
I have a Master's degree in Wumbology.