I have not always walked alone. There was once a time I knew the joy of company and of love, but as my days pass me by I wonder if it was all but a dream. This world could do that to you, drifting about inner desires you wish to share with no other soul before everyone to be mocked. It is because of that I have withdrawn farther into myself, each beat of my heart pounding it deeper and deeper into the caverns to never be found again. Has it been tucked so far away I will forget everything it brought to me? Maybe it is all just a dream for each time I awaken I find myself sifting into the coldness I know best.

Leaving had seemed like the right thing to do then, and it is not often that we are granted the right to break the spinning circle of our lands. Freedom danced at my feet and whistled promises in the wind. New worlds flew beneath me and even more lied ahead. The world shifted and changed in these places so differently than home. How was one not to be elated at such prosperity before them? There was a great familiarity to it all, the cycles timed to a forgotten clock. The day would never cease to come just as the night ceased to be. There was no waiting here and I took in the spoils of my great journey without worry.

It seemed so easy then, when I had a young heart and mind to guide me. Nobody could stop me or change my mind. I was me and I would trumpet my strength to the world! Birds would fly out in triumph, their cries adding to my own. At least that was how it all seemed at first. With each new step I grew wiser, and with each step I found out the consequences of taking it all for granted. My cries were heard by none other like me, and the birds fled in fear instead of admiration. It was too late then to realize what I had done to myself, though in all my young foolishness I refused to accept such ultimatums.

To find a way back was much harder than it seems. It is a path that opens when it wishes to and much like my younger self it did not simply do things for another's whim. How I tried to break it, though. No matter how much I filled myself with determination it would always empty itself for no reward, and each time it was filled less and less. That path I needed so dearly broke me, and in doing so I retreated in defeat in a place where there would be none to console me.

Time seemed to pass agonizingly slow, the slow beat of the sun and moon brightly flashing at me in mockery. I sat there in the open, exposed to everything for what felt like years. As rain, snow, and sunshine beat upon my back I grew a seed of resentment, of hate. Why did they do this to me, those Gods I once looked to? What purpose did it serve to strip me of everything I had? After awhile I needed no answers as I knew them all myself. I meant nothing. Not to them. Not to anyone.

As my eyes cast out to the world, reeling in everything it had to offer I began to pick away at it in pieces. Grasslands became individual blades, rocks became the teaching to immortality, and the earth became my home. There was no need for others when I was surrounded by so much. They kept me company through all my waiting, they had watched me come and go without judgment, they were always there. I had so much to comfort me and I remained so blind to it.

It wasn't until then the path opened again and I rose to my feet something new. As I cast one glance back to the wide open world I wondered if I would ever return to the place that had changed me forever. At the same time I knew it would be with me forever. With the endless world now before me, I wandered the lands a stranger to its lands searching for what I had found just before. Deer leapt by me as I went, but I paid no mind to them. They would leave as they all did, using me for nothing but a memory.

With the dark damp air bearing down upon me I knew I had to act in haste. A downpour was coming and I had yet to find a place of my own to stay. In the darkness there was not much to see, and I knew an expanse of trees was not where I was meant to be, yet here I was in a place that was nothing but such towering creatures. In truth the oldest beasts of the forest were too much a home for me. To be around such ageless wisdom was not something I was ready for, but it was that wisdom that sent me to where I was meant to be. A sudden flash of lightening through a lattice of exposed branches illuminated a large monument dotted with poppy flowers and guardian stones.

It was a place where the restless souls found rest, comforted by their kind faced fellows. As I stepped before one of them I stared intently into the blank blue eyes, wondering if it would understand me and take me in. As if by magic it all seemed to melt away, my feelings that weighed so heavily upon me gone from my shoulders. Here there was no casting away if you were as blasphemous as me. Decrying the Gods meant nothing to it. Seeking only to comfort was the only goal in mind, and thus I sat beside it basking in the internal warmth it brought.

It was here my heart struck the first feeling of pain away and turning me cold to the others in this world. It was here I lost any hope to truly return to what I once was.

(Oh dear. This is probably more confusing than it should be, but interpret how you must. I am never one to write about Dragon outside his diary entries, so this is an awkward first for me. Enjoy.)