I feel I am changing... Growing softer...
I don't know why.
Perhaps living in this body is causing me to become soft like its flesh.
Or perhaps it is really a part of my nature. Though one would think I should know my own nature. But I've been in the dark for so long. Maybe...the lighter side of my nature is finally starting to show through?
Or...perhaps it is because of the influence of others.
I seem to have become a bit more tolerant of others. I have even found myself...seeking companionship...from time to time. Though I always have the company of the spirits, it's almost as if that is not enough anymore. For, lately, even amongst the spirits, I find myself feeling...alone.
And then...there is Janjaweed...
The one being I...enjoy...being with. Aside from the bat. Somehow I feel...different...around him. I'm not sure how or why. When he appears...I...it is as if my mood seems to suddenly lift, and I feel calm. And when he leaves, I feel...bereft... I feel more comfortable with him than I do with anyone else.
If he becomes too close... But, no, I cannot let that happen.
And yet... I'm not sure I could tear myself away...
Melinoe
