sometimes I wander

eyestrain's picture
I'm being selfish. But everything's alright, and I'll be back in a while.

You can message me if you want to talk.

eyestrain89 at gmail

Have a safe journey.

Have a safe journey. Smiling
quadraptor's picture

Take care!

Take care!
Unplugged's picture

good. hope to hear from you

good. hope to hear from you maybe???
eyestrain's picture

Thank you friends. It may

Thank you friends. It may only be a few days... Maybe longer. I'm not sure. But I didn't want you to worry.

I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
Anjali's picture

Safe travels, eyestrain.

Safe travels, eyestrain. Smiling
Ourania's picture

♥

(No subject)

<3
Kaoori's picture

Take care. I miss you.

Take care. I miss you.
eyestrain's picture

My wandering continues. But

My wandering continues. But this is an absence caused by much activity and living. All is well and good. New and good changes are occurring. Life moves on.

In my heart, there is a stag who is a tree in the forest, always there for you. Someday, my little moth will join all of you again.

If you have anything to say to me, please don't hold back.
Be strong and take care of yourselves.

I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
quadraptor's picture

A moth flutters toward the

A moth flutters toward the moonlight,
Wishing it could join the beautiful celestial body,
But to no avail, it soars as high as it can
Before plummeting to the ground
But it does not accept defeat, it tries again
Each time getting closer and closer to the Moon
Until at last it drifts in space,
the bright white circle getting closer and closer
It lands on the Moon, and looks around
There are no trees here, no flowers
No deer, no birds, no frogs, no squirrels
The moth turns and sees the Earth
And learns an important lesson that inspires it
Beauty to the eye does not always translate to the touch

Returning to the Earth, the moth finds that little is different
But in it's eyes, everything has changed all the better

Take care &hearts;. Best of

Take care ♥. Best of luck.

eyestrain's picture

12/8/11 1:18am My journey

12/8/11
1:18am

My journey outwards continues, though I did not expect it to take me so far away for so long. TEF in my mind is like a home that waits for me at the center of my world.

For the time being I am in a somewhat difficult place. Compared to how much appreciation, love, and care I was showered with here, it is a somewhat cold and fickle environment. In many ways I often feel swallowed up by the bustle of a population much more dense and diverse than I have been a member of for many years.
In fact I often feel like a child- incompetent, easily overlooked.
I present myself to be used, and am used. Of course I wish to be cared for, but instead I challenge myself to be more useful and endure longer when my effort is not reciprocated.
It reminds me more and more how special and impossible TEF and the people who make it are. You are impossibly beautiful.

Despite how negative it must sound, in this situation I am also re-learning worthwhile qualities I have. Where am I going, and why? Why did I start drawing? What really matters to me?


---
Why must I pull up roots and continually re-invent and grow myself?

I know that in the past I have never asked or shared like this, and that it is because I am ashamed my attention has turned so completely away from you, my loved ones.
Why do I invest so much in conquering new people when I invest so little in caring for those I have won?
I am not proud of this quality. It is bitter and repulsive. Yet it is part of me.


I don't think it is time to settle here again. But I have not forgotten any of you, my friends. I miss you. I hope you are well.

I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet
eyestrain's picture

1/2/12 onetwoonetwo Maybe

1/2/12
onetwoonetwo

Maybe it's a magic number that has stirred something deep in my mind like a stick in the mud of a clear river.

I've been reading again, something I haven't done since childhood. I've been playing video games on the playstation, alone. After months of not even lifting a pencil I thought maybe I was done. But it's been a marathon today of reconnecting with things I had put aside. I wonder why?
((more than anything it is desire, desire has slipped unnoticed back into the wasteland of myself like a single green sprout))
It would be nice if this lapse were something I could continue ((if this shoot could survive and grow))... I am crossing my fingers. If only for the moment, I believe in hoodoo. I would pray to a toaster if it could bring me back to myself. I would swear oaths to the moon.

I don't strive to be the best, but instead I strive to do my best, and always give it my all every time.
-faunet