((To any deer mentioned in here-I don't personally blame anyone for their in-forest actions. I have no ill-will against any of you. Mentioned: Darkweaver, 88, Bastilion, Virgil, Crucible's deer, Mozart, Jessem, Sithrim, Queze [yes, she thinks Queze is a doe] and some deer that I either don't know the names of, or were nameless. Also, about the stag running up to her with Queze, I wasn't totally sure, since my connection had randomly slowed.))

The Fawn

I won't let the Twin Gods win. They send their minions against me, but I've resisted them all. I will topple those idols, free all the deer from this forest. Or at least me. They will topple and I will relish their fall.

These last few days have been mostly a blur, but there's a few things I remember clearly.

I remember that stag who chased me. He didn't give up. He chased me for days, every time he saw me. I could sense him watching me a few times. It seems my senses have become sharper. His intentions seemed friendly, but who knows with stags? I let him get closer today, but not too close. Never too close. He just bowed, though he kept trying to come closer. He backed off when I told him to, though he really was interesting. I wonder why any deer would chase me like that. It was strangely flattering, though I'm sure he didn't intend it to be.

Then there was a fawn. I remember both that stag and that fawn cornered me once. Perhaps they're from the same mold; that fawn chased me down until I finally let it get close. I don't know what it is about me that attracts such attention...I'm almost starting to feel like a charity case.

That day was followed by another filled with fleeing and being pursued. It's all a blur, really. I can't figure out exactly why I run either. From fawns, sure, but stags? Perhaps it's something about their dangerous antlers...

Strange. It's almost as if...as if I remember something to do with that. Antlers and hooves. I can't really pin it down. It's been flitting through my head for a few days now, but I can't pin it down. It doesn't really matter, though.

On that second day, I met that dark stag with the pointy antlers again. He's one of the few I feel safe around. He lived up to that too...He protected me from all of those stags and fawns. He kept up with me, seemed to understand when I ran. Perhaps I shall show him the evils of the Twin Gods someday, ask him for a way out of here. For now, I'm just glad he's protecting me...A little bit of warmth in this cold forest.

Him and that doe with peacock feathers and the brown pelt, along with that strange mask. I've sat by her a lot lately. She's always greeted me, put up with me, sat with me too...Somehow, it makes me feel closer to my...

Parents. Now that I think about it, I seem to be forgetting them, the longer I stay. I've settled in to this new rhythm with my friends. How could I forget? How could I not remember what used to be? How could I forget my one true goal and settle with these...deer? I won't forget them. I will never forget. If I forget, the Twins win.

Yet...Maybe I should at least make do for the moment. Maybe...I can't just forget these deer. They might help me get out of here, after all.

Anyway. That dark stag did try to lead me to a stag with a brown pelt striped with gold and antlers like his as well as that stag with the huge red antlers that I admire...But I just don't trust those two. There was another there, I think, one with green scales and peacock feathers. Especially the brown-golden one. I was happy to see that the dark stag followed me instead.

After he left, I wandered for a bit. More blurs...until those deer came along, glowing bright white. They cast the glowing bright white pelt on me, which I know comes from praying at the statues. How ironic it is that, when deer give it to you, it's twice as bright as any of the other lights that come from their antlers and twice as loud. I started running and coughed off the glowing white thing, but the deer followed me and cast it again. Everything after that was black.

I woke up a few hours later and managed to crawl to the pond, head pounding. I slept fitfully, waking up in the pond only to black out again. Once, I remember waking up and crawling from the pond to dry land.

When I awoke again, my head seemed fairly healed. After a drink, the last trails of it ebbed away. This should have made me happy, but I was angry instead. What was with all of these stupid deer? They all thought they could shoot light from their antlers whenever they wanted, no matter the target. A forest full of idiot deer.

I walked off and fell asleep for a bit, alone for a precious few seconds.

Of course, the instant I fall asleep, deer are using my body to cast lights at each other. I woke up slowly, then realized what they were doing and ran off. Of course, one of them had the nerve to follow me. At least he backed up when I lowered my antlers. These things are good for something after all.

More wandering. Then came that...that despicable deer. He refused to stop following me. He was wearing some fancy gray antlers, the blue pelt striped with white, and some freaky mask. Perhaps an orca. He followed me continuously, once backing me into the ruins so I couldn't escape. He trapped me there, me, cowering in fear, wondering why he'd want to do that. I'm pretty sure he lowered his antlers a few times too, though everything was pretty blurry at this point. I escaped from that only to be chased by him again.

Then I gave up. Well, that's not quite right. I gave up running, turned and faced him. I was through with running, and he gave me no choice. I guess he was surprised when I lowered my antlers and reared. I don't know if any of the blows connected, but it felt so good to release the brewing anger. He returned a few, then gamboled off. It was nice to finally be released from his ambush. It was nice to finally realize that I could defend myself. I've scented him in the forest a few times, but he's never tried again.

I saw the dark stag again, but he was instantly attached to by another fawn. He decided to stay with the fawn...

Then I met my doe friend. I sat with her for a little while, though I scented another deer close by. The one who had had the nerve to follow me. Fine. Let him do whatever, so long as he didn't get too close.

Then came...the fawn. It seemed so scared,but I was still scared of it. I stood up and stared at it, waiting for it to make a move. It...cowered and I didn't know what to do. It ran off, frightened.

I guess that's what it feels like to have your heart broken. Or something close to that.

That fawn reminded me of my fears, seemed almost like me. I didn't want...to hurt that fawn. I know what it's like to be so frightened of other deer...that you're constantly on the run. And you don't even know why.
I ran. I'm sorry, friend-doe...I didn't want to leave you alone. I ran because of that fawn. I could not stay when I had scared something so much, just like all the deer I hate. I needed to get away.

So I ran. I got away. It's strange, because I should have been happy. A fawn had left me alone for once. I just couldn't be happy when something was so frightened of me, had run from me.

Such is fate, ironic to the last.

Then came the frog. So intelligent for such a tiny creature! Just the sight of it, running around and hopping with a little glowing symbol (almost like a deer) over its head was enough to cheer me up. At least something wasn't running from me. I fund myself almost happy, running and jumping, then finally settling down next to it.

“Frog...Do you understand me? I don't know why the deer in this forest are so strange. Some of them want to hurt me, some of them are scared of me. Do you know why?

“...Of course you don't. But...I've had some really bad days lately. I don't know why I'm so afraid of stags, but I'm constantly running from them. Even a far off one sets me on edge. I'm scared of fawns too...They seem to be the ones who shoot light the most...

“I want to know why I'm afraid. I want to know why these deer keep following me, why they seem so interested in me. If they left me alone, I wouldn't have to run so much...

“But you wouldn't understand that. You're just a frog.”

I woke up a little while later and he was gone. More wandering, exploring. The beauty of this forest seems uglier and uglier lately. I miss when it was just my dream forest, somewhere I'd escape to when I was tired of real life. How strange that it's a whole world.

I found a quiet place and napped again, glad that no deer had followed me. For once, it was a moment of peace and solitude.

Of course I encountered more deer later. One of them was a stag with huge antlers and a pelt that looked like the night sky. Those antlers are terrible things. Huge, towering, so pointy...Of course I ran, and of course he pursued me...

Then I stopped to wonder why I was running. Sure, the antlers were scary, but...He seemed to have no bad intentions. He seemed kind. I wasn't ready to face the possibility that he wasn't. He seemed sad. So I ran off, and this time he didn't follow.

One being a fawn who would not give up chasing me. I finally got rid of it when I jumped over the river. It gave up and ran into the woods, away from me. I nearly ran into another deer that I vaguely recognized. I seem to be nearly running into deer a lot lately. I guess I'm just not paying attention.

This deer seemed to be a doe. I vaguely remembered her from before, perhaps on the hill with the dark stag and those he tried to introduce me to. This deer seemed friendly enough. I'm not afraid of does, so I approached. It seemed like we were fast friends, so I followed her and sat down. Then she asked me to follow again, and I did. I figured that I had another friend.

She tried to introduce me to other deer, stags. One came running up and I fled. The doe followed me, worried. She began to...to dance?

That brought back memories, memories of my dad dancing with me. He'd swirl me around, a parody of fancy ballroom swinging. We'd laugh and he'd pick me up, give me a kiss on my forehead...

“My little cookie. You'll get all the boys when you grow up!” He'd say...

I found myself in the present again, swaying back and forth, attempting to dance. I stopped and started, not remembering how to do this. The doe seemed to understand...I felt a little warmer.

Then she sat with me until some...bat, perhaps...came up and turned her into a squirrel. How odd. Perhaps that was why the frog had had a glowing thing over its head like a deer. I ran from the bright flashes of light, and was followed by the little creatures. I laughed and played with one, happily. I don't know where the other went...

Then the squirrel-doe led me, and I followed, enraptured by the tiny creature. Then I looked up. That stag she'd tried to introduce me to before, and a fawn. It had all been a trick to lead me near this stag!

I ran, of course. Stupid me, trusting the first doe I saw. Of course, that does was probably just a minion of the Twins. They apparently have their hold over most of the deer here. I managed to hit them a few times before the squirrel-doe caught up, along with a stag. Again I ran.

The squirrel-doe caught up to me. Still following me.

“Go away!” I shouted, stomping and rearing, but trying not to hurt the tiny creature. “You betrayed me! You're just a lackey for those statues, aren't you? Well, I won't let them hurt me, so just go away!”

The squirrel transformed back into a deer and walked away, sadly.

Good. The Twins would never get me if I didn't let them.

But I guess I felt a twinge of sadness, losing a doe friend. Still, if she was just a minion, she wouldn't have been a good friend anyway.

All the better now that I was finally alone.

((And yes...she's not that sane currently. >>))