[Drifting]

There is something peculiar about looking at yourself through a haze of fog. It was like that for Revtheyr at this very moment. In the stillness of the surrounding mist, he watched his own body, still and nearly lifeless. It had been foolish to push himself so hard the night before. If Ty had wished to be found, wouldn't he have called? Stamped? Made sure Rev knew he was there? Maybe... Maybe not.

But that didn't matter just at this moment. Rev had collapsed after he staggered back to the Oak. His legs had felt like jelly, and his mind had been as foggy as his vision was now. Sounds blurred in and out.. and then he was here. Outside, looking in at the wreck of a body his soul called home. So fragile. So tiny. His horns had healed - he saw that. He couldn't even see the crack anymore, and the other had filled back out. But the rest... the ribcage showing, the muscles in each leg in stark contrast to his appearance before... There was not an ounce of fat on him. These thoughts seemed to come calmly. As if he were talking of another, and not of himself.

The body lay there, unmoving. Scarcely breathing. The fawns.. oh the fawns... had come slowly near to it, and were lying against it. Shivering. The body no longer had any warmth to give them. But there was still and attachment there. Still a call and a reason and a hope. Enough to keep him here. Glued to this spot... but not strong enough to urge him forward, and not weak enough to send him away. It was like the constant nagging of an overprotective grandmother. You wanted to be left alone, to go. But then again, you wanted to stay. It was a choice. And right now, he simply watched, eyes darting about through the mist.

Now and then, caught glimpses of what he feared and desired most of all in this world. His love. But the face changed every time it appeared from the fog. Was it Ty? Was it Nathan? Was it both? It might have been. Just now, either would have been welcome. But he FELT Ty's presence in this mysterious place, surely as he had felt Ty... fade away. How long had it been now? A week? A month? It felt like so much longer. Why wasn't he back yet? Ty wouldn't leave him for so long. Then again... perhaps... No. He wouldn't believe that Ty was gone. Wouldn't. It was not in his capacity to believe that. Not yet. Not ever?

"You still and silent statues! Answer me! Why am I here?! Let me go home! I'm sorry!"

Rev's head jerked up immediately, ears pricked and forward. Ty! It had to be! That was his voice! That was his... there was no scent in this place, but he felt it. FELT Ty. Making as if to move forward, he nearly stumbled, finding that he was literally glued to the spot. Perhaps it had been figurative before. Now? Not so much. He called, though. Called, called, called, called.

"I'm here! I'm here Ty! I'm here! This way!"

But it was useless. The fog merely deepened, and the light began to fade. White mist started to swirl and eddy, changing into darkness. Enclosing. Leaving him with none of the previous calmness from before. Terror started to creep into him, into his lungs. He couldn't breathe well. His heart.. it should have been hammering. His heart... It didn't seem to matter, though. He poured his own thoughts and feelings into the darkness. Hoping that Ty would catch them. That the darkness would lift... He couldn't even see his body anymore. The shadows covered all.

"I'm sorry, Tyerk! I'm sorry! I wished for something... And you were the price! I didn't know! I swear I didn't know what the Gods would ask in return!"

He paused, listening to the echos of his words in the stillness. Wishing he knew what to say - how to say it.

"The... the truth is, Ty... I was blinded by my need. By my hunger. I never stopped once to think what you might want, and for that... for that alone, I should have gouged out my heart with my own horn." He sniffed, as tears started to roll down his cheeks. Tears rife with icy fire that burned and cooled, before even they vanished into the darkness. "I never wanted to hurt you. I always wanted you by my side, Ty.. my beloved.. If you can hear me... I'm sorry. I feel... attracted to Nathan. I know this is wrong! I know! And you have a right to hate me! You have a right to kill me!" He was full out sobbing by now - but for some reason, this did not appear to affect his speech. "You left! You left because of me, and I understand that. I know that. I know you left because of the fawns. But Ty... what I wouldn't give to have you back. What I wouldn't give to have both of you at my side. Is that selfish of me? To want two mates?"

His voice trailed into the darkness, and did not emerge. His last sentence had not been expected. This place seemed to draw feelings he never realized he had from him. Forced him to broadcast them. Was he really in desire of BOTH Nathan and Tyerk? Did he really want two mates? Did he? Was he wrong for that.

Slowly, the darkness faded back into mists, and again he was able to view his body. By now, others had found him. And it was raining. Hard. His body still had not moved. Still scarcely breathed. Others surrounded him, worried, urging.

"Son? Rev? Are you okay? Can you hear me?" His father. That was his father. Sweet, caring Leonardo.

His father worriedly nudged at Rev's shoulder. Softly, then harder, trying to rouse him. Continuing to talk to him, to ask him if he could hear him. It was all he could do not to scream back to his dad that he was okay - just... not there. But he knew that the older deer wouldn't hear him.

Nathan was there too. What he was saying was muffled and indistinct, flowing through the air like crystal clear water. He couldn't hear them. But he could imagine. Nudging at his legs, licking his neck. Trying to get him up.

Tally was there too - somehow she had wandered upon him as well. Sound faded in and out. He only caught snippets of what she was saying.

"Get..... fawns need..... Nathan.... I.... up, Rev!"

It was all too easy to fill in the blanks on his own. But he could neither move forward, nor back away. Not until Nathan started pawing at his chest, hard. Trying to get him to react. Scratching him in the process. But there was something about the movement that seemed to beckon him closer. He walked forward in a hesitant manner... then started to run without really knowing why. Closer and closer to his own body.

For a moment, he paused there, in the fog, close enough to touch the muzzle of his own nose, but not close enough to rouse himself. Then, not knowing why, he jumped.

.... He landed on his side. Voices of his friends around him. Echoing for now.

"Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?" The chorus of four, sounded like a chorus of sixteen, really - but it was reassuring. He moaned in response.

"Revtheyr? Are you alright?" Nathan asked, curling his legs under him as he lay down, head on Rev's side. His voice bounced oddly off where Rev lay - apparently dragged inside of the Big Oak.

Leevi followed suit, moving closer to Rev, and grooming him as he lay there. The tired, and ill, Revtheyr offered another low moan, unable to bring himself to speak. He still couldn't speak, even as they started to realize he was actually there again. Even his fawns seemed to know that the silence was something that was going to take a while to break. They nestled close, Hope copying Nathan's posture, while Crash and the others simply sprawled around. Rev's chest felt like the hottest fire. Burning, burning, burning with each breath. It ached. His legs ached. His muscles all over ached. And he had a strange sensation of not being able to take a deep breath. His sigh, therefore, came out as a strangled choke, causing alarm to rise from Leo, who curled his head over Rev's neck in worry.

Both Leo and Tally looked at each other, then at Rev and Nathan. Then at the fawns, seeming to formulate some sort of plan. It wasn't long after that, before both left. Tally just turned around and walked out, as she had never lay beside Rev - in case, presumably, someone needed to run and get something. She waited until Leevi followed her, disappearing into the forest proper.

Rev's eyelids were heavy. Had he been asleep? If he had, he probably would feel rested. But no, he felt as if the weight of this entire forest was on his chest. He felt that the rain - When did it start raining? - was reflecting his innermost thoughts. And most of all, he wished Ty was here, on the other side of him, laying against him along with Nathan, and licking him all over. Nathan's warm tongue reminded him of how much that thought ached. Even though he was lying down, tears still started to trickle down to the Old Oak's forest bed, watering the shifting soil with soft tears. A meager offering.

In his mind, he could see a perfect vision of a perfect world. A world where both Ty and Nathan stood side by side, watching him care for the fawns, who pranced and danced in front of them. After a moment, dream-Nathan nipped dream-Ty lightly on the shoulder, and they - along with Rev - joined the fawns in their dance. Smiling at this, Revtheyr closed his eyes, and gave another choking sigh, mixed with a sob. His breathing started to shallow as he sunk deeper into the darkness. But this time... this time there was no white mist to wake him. Only the vision of his dream world, where he romped and played with his two mates, and watched the fawns together. In his sleep, he sighed a peaceful sigh, as the curtain of dreams pulled across his consciousness, and left him to gain the sorely needed rest his body craved.