.....:No, my mind is not lost. My mind still remains, in it's sanity, placed as a stronghold within myself. It has not dissolved....no. I still have my rational, and integrity. "What, my dear? Why do you ramble so?" That voice isn't really there. All but a nuisance to plague my moral. I must ignore it's chatter, as it does not exist. What a silly claim....that even the idea of a voice emitted that isn't really there. "Do you not hear me, my sweet son? I love you, my dear. Please listen." Be silenced silly voice, I cannot hear you. No source exists for the words you speak, therefore it makes little sense to believe you are even here. You are not here. "You don't believe in your own mother?" My mother exists, but it cannot be that voice which speaks to me now. No....my mother is much more direct. Mi luna wouldn't resort to such irresponsible naggings. No.




......:I awoke with a jolt, my body singing in fire-like heat. I was laced in a thin layer of perspiration, which clung to my fur and matted it close to my body. My breath was uneven and quick, and as I darted my eyes back and forth, I tried to come to a rational mind. "Well good morning my lovely child." I stood up, slowly, gently slowing my breathing back to a more calm pace. As I finally came to observing my surroundings, I noticed an obvious red tint carressing the landscape. Hues....of pinks and blues....of violets and roses...
.....:With sweat beading across my face, I headed for the pond to refresh myself from the obvious nitemare I had seemed to be suffering. It hadn't ever been this bad before, I recalled no moment where nitemares now came more frequently than the present. Once I finished with freshening up, I headed back towards the birch forest, wandering to the hill I had once sat upon a few days before. It was a painfully slow walk towards it, as I didn't wish to speed up my already pounding heart by traveling any quicker than a walk. Once I did reach it's heights, however, I felt an instant feeling of unease. I tried to recall what had happened to me here, as if some explanation may explain why exactly such a troubling concern had struck. I recalled my heartbeat, erratic and frayed, beating impecibly loud before I had blacked out. My breath....it was also stifled, and I cringed at the memory which had stung my lungs so powerfully. Raising my heavy head, I focussed on the evening-kissed sky, closing my eyes as I tried to let the painful recall fade from my vision.
.....:I wouldn't allow that to happen again. Not in my lifetime would I willingly allow such a weakening attack to strike me blind. "A heart-attack, my son. Is that what you preach of to your worried old mother?" I shot open my eyes, trying to focus on the source of the voice which had so cleverly invaded my thoughts. "Who...said that? What....do you mean? I..." I allowed my voice to fade, realizing that I was speaking simply to myself. My heart skipped a beat, but I took a deep breath in to try and counter the uncomfortable manevuer. I wouldn't let that voice take-over my body again. I knew it wasn't real, it couldn't be. I was merely myself and my body was mine to control. Shaken, I layed down upon the hill, quickly giving in to a deep sleep. I couldn't keep my mind awake any longer....for now....anyways.



......:When I rose to my feet a day or so later, that unease sitting in my belly was quite reluctant to move. Butterflies now seemed to live a permanent residence in my stomach, and I'd expect little of it to leave. As I began to wander, I stumbled upon a rather, well simply put enormous group of deer. They were all walking, gently crossing the earth with the careful steps of an elder to a holy sanctuary. I began to watch the group, curious. As I came closer though, I could feel the pounding in my chest preventing any further approach. If I did, I presumed they'd be able to hear the annoying pounding that was drumming inside my chest, and I'd rather not let them be bewildered by the source. "Poor child, why don't you go off and play? Watching will do nothing to make you friends, sweety." I cringed, hiding my emotions under an unchanging expression. I told myself it would go away, and I remember lightly cursing a few foul words beneath my breath as the wind carried it away into the treetops.




.....:The group slowly approached the playground rocks, and I continued to follow with a flighty curiousity. Yes, I suppose some would call it spying, but I'd rather dub it more of observing. Why make them worry about a deer with such terrible health? I'd be a fool to even try, I suppose. After the deer reached the towering rocks, they broke into a light-hearted dance upon the stones, which created a catchy sound as hooves clattered against rock. Standing upon the top of a boulder myself, I was finally spotted by a deer embedded in the group. My heart felt as if it was to bursting, and with instinct I turned the other way and bolted, painfully trying to keep up a speedy pace as my flight was striken a crushing force upon my chest. When I finally gained enough distance, I slowed down to a more sluggish walk, breathing heavily as I tried to catch my erratic breathing.



.....:Hoofbeats. I jolted my heavy head upwards, perking my ears to the distant, but familiar sound. Those dainty hoofbeats, creating a sound of determined footsteps as they raced across the landscape. I sighed, shutting my eyes tight for a moment as I desperatly tried to calm my pounding heart. "So you have a little friend now, eh deary? Are you trying to stay away from your poor mother?" The voice echoed, fading as the hoofbeats grew louder, and stopped with a sudden halt. I stared at Miss Poltergeist for a few fleeting moments, straightening my posture and adjusting my expression. Simple...nothing was wrong, that was all.
......:"Wud!" I heard a dainty voice cry out, and I surged my body forward to finally close the distance between us. I greeted her first with a rushed bow, before nuzzling her navy and gold face. "Miss Poltergeist...." I cooed, pulling away with a pause, a question ready to be asked. She replied with a simple, "Hm?" and I prepared to ask my inquired sentence. "Would you mind...if perhaps I allowed myself...to simply call you 'Poltergeist'? I asked, a bit shaken. I feared that, perhaps if I took away such a formality, it may sway her view of what I found acceptable manners.
.....:With a relief, she nodded eagerly, and I let out a huge sigh, ignoring that irritable beating drumming within me. "Aw, sweet child. So informal...you make me naucious." I ignored the now irritated voice, grinning chessily as I invited...Poltergeist...to join me in where I was standing a few moments before. I knew she also had a bit of a thing for spying, and we both seemed to enjoy the sneaky behaivor. We watched the deer dancing on the rocks, before turning to eachother an partaking in a bit of silly games. Another deer also joined us, I believe their picto looking something like an "04". We happily partaked in some incredibly silly games, the three of us, such as deer stacking and such the like. I suppose I haven't laughed that hard in quite awhile.



......:I felt a drowsy sleep overcoming me, and I decided it best that I excuse myself before the drowsiness overtook me. I bowed deeply to sir...zero-four...I'd best need to learn their name..I suppose. They dissapeared, and I then turned to Poltergeist. She seemed to have the faint hint of worry plastered on her face. I cringed, gently placing my forehead against hers. Her eyes seemed to almost scream 'what is wrong?', but yet she didn't seem to ask it. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the sound of my heartbeat and her scattered breaths. "Never forget....that I always will love you. And.... I paused, pinning my ears as my heartbeat grew slightly louder and beat a tad bit quicker. I caught my breath, letting out the scattered air in a slow sigh. "Do not worry." I managed to whisper, standing there in silence for a moment before opening my eyes and pulling away. I held a slight, comforting smile upon my face, and nodded assuringly before nuzzling her once again. I bowed, holding my stance a bit longer than usual. My sight was fading. "Go to sleep, child. You need your rest, poor dear. Mi hijo.... The feminine voice echoed, and I flicked my ears to the sound that clearly didn't come from the forest itself. "I love you too..." Poltergeist replied softly, and I listened to her slow hoofbeats approaching as I drifted into a heavy sleep.



......:I awoke calmly, for once in a very long while. I outstretched my legs in a bit of a haze, and headed towards the pond for a quick freshening up and such. After a dip or two, I calmly returned towards the shore with a quick toss of crushed cinnimon upon my cleansed fur. In fact, it was almost too calm, that I soon began to worry. Eagerly, I attempted to burst out into a run, which I'd normally partake in to cool the unease within me. I stumbled almost instantly, tripping over thing air into the cool ground. Shaken, I attempted to stand up, only my breath caught me and I did little of actually standing. "Just take little steps, poor son. Mother will help you stand..." The eerie voice echoed in my mind. I lowered my face towards the dirt, staring at it's pattern which was entwined with short grasses and various rocks and leaves. I wouldn't talk back to this voice if it had no original source. Painfully slowly, I rose to my hooves, gently shaking off the dirt as I finally began to move forward....in a slow, frightened walk. "Look! Look how my son can stand on his own! My heartbeat quickened, yet I continued to walk. My breath skipped, but I tried desperatly to continue to move forward. "See how high he holds his head? Such fine posture for such a young child of mine..." The sound bragged as I straightened my posture, my vision beginning to blur. "But look how clumsy he is!" I stumbled, my head flying foward as my legs struggled to catch me.
.....:But thank goodness I did, I'm sure another fall would've broken me. I breathed heavily and quickly now, still managing to move forward with eerily slow steps. Suddenly, a jolting pain pinched my chest, the pain blazing a fire within me. I choked, stopping my steps as tears slowly welled in my silver eyes. It hurt...



.....:Somewhere outside of me, I heard hoofbeats and the sound of a gentle, inquiring voice. I opened my eyes, trying desperatly to fight the pain which now clutched my chest and pulled me apart. I somehow managed to regonize it as the voice of Miss Ravenflight, and I bowed carefully as a pained greeting. She nuzzled me, I believe, but I didn't quite remember seeing it. All I could think about was the unbearable pain tugging at my chest...and crushing it at the same time. My heartbeat was racing uncontrollably, and I tried desperatly to calm my fleeting breath. "Now, now, mi hijo. Don't be so rude." I opened my mouth, whispering a few scattered words. "You must excuse me....Miss..." I took another deep breath, biting my lower lip before continuing. "Pardon....me....I... I couldn't take is anymore...and instantly turned upon my hooves and bolted forward, a cough erupting from my stomach. I ran, stumbling upon my hooves as I continued to struggle in moving.



....:"Wudiin! Come back! Whats wrong?!" I heard a distanced, desperate call cry out. I ignored it, and continued to run, faltering with each step. Suddenly, after running deep into the birch forest, I stuttered to a painful halt. I coughed, and with it, came up a ill-tasting red liquid that splattered onto the orange grasses. My eyes widened, and I continued to cough, watching as more blood spilled onto the earth. I breathed heavily as the attack finally stopped, no more blood bursting from my body. Tears welling, I lowered my stance, trying to catch my breath as my heart continued to pound. "See how clumsy? Poor son, always getting into trouble!" That voice didn't exist. It wasn't real. It couldn't be.