22/09/22
Following the aftermath of the storm, what should have been a celebration was instead a mix of sorrow and destruction. The new family would take their time in returning to the Northern Wall, savouring every moment with their son before they inevitably returned to the reality of the present.

They would shield Torryn as much as possible from the death that lay scattered around. He had already seen too much as he entered this world, and Thorir wasn’t about to sully his innocent mind with more carnage. The clean-up was long and extensive. Bodies had to be moved away from their territory, lest they attract more predators. The injured were tended to as best as possible, though the outcome would slowly leave more for the scavengers.

The Northern Wall itself had been damaged beyond use in some areas. And so storage had to be moved to new locations within the crumbling foundations.

It was safe to say that Torryn’s first year of life definitely lived up to the extremes that Svellorika was capable of producing. And all of this did nothing to help a first time father cope with his new responsibilities. Though, with his mate by his side, they would somehow manage to get through the worst of things.

And with the brief summer turning into Autumn, a new chance of life and rebuilding is given in the form of the rut. The herd still stands strong despite the losses. And one other positive to come out of this is a phenomenon this world has likely never seen before.

A return to the site of Torryn’s birth place reveals that the ground is still warm, despite the months that have passed. The ice and snow does not touch it, or rather it is melted away upon contact. This anomaly is usually enough to scare everyone away from the area, manifesting new stories and folklore. But while its true that predators now fear it, the herd does not. Instead it is viewed as a safe haven for births, and the warmth now gives new-borns a better chance at surviving the sheer cold as they first enter this world. Thorir cannot explain how or why this has happened. All he knows is that Melanie is the cause, and that it is without a doubt some form of blessing to this land.

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31/12/21
Thorir truly believed that false hope was the worst thing you could give to someone. He had experienced it many times in the past, and as a result, his ability to trust, not only in another being, but also in hope for anything itself, had become incredibly strained over time. Because of this, Melanie’s pregnancy was probably the most stressful experience he’s ever lived through. With each passing day, the anxiety and fear grew stronger. And it was warranted, as the birth itself would test every ounce of sanity he had, with everything that could possibly go wrong, going terribly wrong.

Even now he isn’t sure how they got through it, and even now he sometimes wonders if it was all a dream. Was his son really there in front of him. Was his lover really there beside him…

From the start, things had to be different from tradition. because of the royal bloodline, the birth would take place within the safety of the ruins known as the Northern Wall, the rundown remnants that reminded everyone of Man’s disappearance from this world. Here, Melanie was safest, at least in theory. The herd would guard the perimeter, with bulls and even strong does offering to scout and ensure nothing slipped in. But an incoming storm would distort sound and visibility, making it easy to get lost..and easy prey.

It is still unclear why the wolves attacked on that night, but speculation has circulated of a raven betraying the herd. As the translators of this world, only the ravens can share knowledge between species. And it wouldn’t be too outlandish to believe that a raven might hold a grudge due to the herds previous King, before Thorir.

Perhaps it was a blessing that the ceiling above them started to cave in from the blizzard. As though nature itself was telling them to run. The opening allowed them to hear the screams of the desperate and dying. And the screams telling everyone to flee. The Iron’s instincts had never been more rattled before. Flee or fight. A King should fight to defend his herd, but a King should flee with his Queen to protect her and their unborn. If his antlers could not be used as weaponry, then instead use them to shield Melanie from the collapsing roof as they made their escape, and outside into the raging storm.

All they could do was follow the shadows of their herd around them as they all tried to run towards the Does wood. It would be sheltered from the storm but easy pickings for predators. They had no other choice. But how could Melanie, who was in labor, make that journey.. If it wasn’t for Eydis, perhaps neither of them would have made it. The retired Queen was stubborn as always, and they’d be thankful for it. Forcing them, aiding in supporting the Star’s weight, she’d push them to keep going.

The Does Wood felt like a sanctuary in comparison. The wind was slowed due to the thick trees, at the cost of making Thorir’s movement limited. A downside to large antlers. Here is where their son was born. A moment that should have been treasured. A moment that Thorir wanted to imprint onto his mind forever. But that memory was soaked in blood. The wolves would not allow them this moment of happiness.

Known as the iron Wall, Thorir was stoic in nature. While under the surface he was broken and often felt weak, it was rare to see him truly angry. Even this may not have been true anger but instead the desperation of a new father pushed to his limits. With antlers lowered he would impale any wolf that tried getting near. The sensation of stabbing flesh and the smell of blood was sickening for someone who was mostly passive. But he had a family to protect, and he was willing to do anything for their sake.

Though, Dire wolf packs can be quite large in numbers. And they seemed desperate enough to keep advancing despite the casualties on their end. Thorir’s efforts would be in vain. They would be the ones dying here. How fucked up. He could finally hear the cries of his child, of whom he thought he was never worthy of bringing into this world. And now it was all going to be taken from him.

But the Star, as she had always been, was a light that shone even in the darkest of moments. Her mere existence in this world shook the very foundations of logic and lore. It is unclear if magic existed in this world, but Melanie, in her own way, made it real. Thorir could not fully explain what his lover did. He could only close his eyes, feel the near burning heat radiate outwards, and hope that his mother was keeping her grandson safe behind them. When he’d open his eyes again, the snow around them had melted, and the wolves were long gone, yelping in fear into the distance. Melanie lay on the ground beside him, and all he could do was collapse beside her. Only then did he see his son for the first time. Torryn.

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30/07/21
Growing increasingly wary of...everything as time slowly passes. Hyper aware of any predatory type creatures while on their (Mel and Thor's) travels. And as the Star's belly slowly grows, the more real it feels, along with anxiety and a feeling of impending doom because something is surely going to go wrong like it did years ago. Losing sleep, but is incredibly grateful towards the herd as they've stepped up to help in ways he'd never seen before. The does offer their food while the bulls double up the patrols to ensure optimal safety. Nervous to speak with his mother about certain things, but doesn't want to get too far ahead of himself in case the worst should happen.
Though with every night spent together with his love, there is a spark of hope in his heart for their little family.

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07/06/21
Trying to find time in the forest whenever he can to rest, both for himself and for Melanie. After receiving some life changing news, has been doing his best to take each say as it comes and not spiral into paranoia and the horrible procrastination's of 'what ifs'. But despite continuing his duties and the positive airs he puts on, deep down his anxiety is a swirling ball of nausea.
Flips from being excited and upbeat to nervous and fearful as old memories remind him of past failures and losses. Feels protective and equally helpless, and while he hails from a land where fate is not challenged, he prays that this time will be different.
Surely the world isn't cruel enough to take another child from him.

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21/03/21
Still feeling the high of everything that transpired recently, to the point where its almost surreal as he enters a new chapter in his life, no longer alone.
Endured what felt like the most terrifying experience when they approached the herd and his mother to announce the news. Can swear he knows what a heart attack feels like now. Can also swear he knows what euphoria feels like when the herd accepted the news and a new era of King and Queen was founded. Has been spending as much time with Melanie as possible since then. Their duties and scouting now performed together as a solid team. And for once he is looking towards the future instead of looking back.
The happiest he's been for a long long time.

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16/01/21
Had small plans to stay at his sons memorial as the new year rolled in. With sightings of 'Bone Eaters' lessening as of late, felt as though he could afford to sneak in some private time in the forest to unwind. Though those plans soon went out the window in a way he never expected.

With the climate in the forest and the stars hanging precariously lower than usual, caught a scent that would make his mind spiral in a way he hadn't felt for a long time. Melanie was in heat. Pheromones during the rutting reason were usually something he could tolerate fairly well. He was conditioned to not give in to primal instinct due to his position as a King. But all of that didn't count when it happened to be someone he actually had feelings for. Feelings he had been fighting to deny. And things very quickly became complicated (or so he initially thought) when the Star ventured near him and explained that she didn't feel safe due to what she was experiencing. Understood her viewpoint, though couldn't help but become irritated due to his own feelings. This was some joke, but its not as though she knew how he felt, so she had no idea how this might have been effecting him. Until he outright said it.

The Iron was always bad at expressing how he truly felt. So much pain and past trauma had turned him into a wall that no one could pass through. No one but Melanie. Her heat would bring out his true feelings, giving him the push he finally needed to admit it out loud that he liked her. And in turn she did the same. Their relationship was founded on a simple offer to give a fallen Star a place to stay. And though he didn't know it at the time, that Star landed on the other side of his Iron wall, and there it would stay. Ventured off into the birch forest, where the Iron and Star could dance their rut as the new year dawned.

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12/11/20
AT SOME POINT (because player was bullied by a back injury) came across something that had been left at Zael's memorial. A small carving with a note from Zafeiri. At first overwhelmed by the small figure and its resemblance, already assuming who its meant to represent without even looking at the words on the note or the runes inscribed on the carving. Stood there for some time, simply staring at the gift, before carefully collecting it and taking it back to Svellorika.

In the privacy of a secluded section of the Northern Wall, the Iron asked his raven to translate the words in both the note and on the statue. Only Rangvaldr would see the emotions that followed as the King heard his son's name. This information wasn't going to spread to the rest of the herd. The note and carving would stay in a storage space that only Thorir ventured to, as though the item were some treasure that needed to remain hidden. But despite the precautions taken on keeping the carving away from curious eyes, the Iron felt a sense of relief. For the first time, he finally had something linked to his son that he had brought home with him.

Though it meant nothing to anyone else, the Iron requested the storage space to be cleaned out, and bedding placed inside. For years he had pondered where his children might stay when heavy storms hit the Northern Wall. This was the room. Zael's room.

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06/10/20
A couple of days ago, woke to something he hadn't expected, or at least wasn't prepared for in the slightest. Woke to Zafeiri standing before him, both looking over their son's memorial. Fitting.

Keeping Melanie's words in mind, the Iron stood his ground, waiting patiently, lowkey trying to organise his mind that was a storm of memories and uncomfortable emotions. Eventually broke the silence himself after it became too much. Though poorly worded, it got the ball rolling on a conversation that was desperately needed after all these years. Listened to what she had to say with apprehension. His gut churning with anxiety. Hit with words he didn't expect, but words he'd wanted to hear for a very long time. Validating that the terrible course of their past together had not been his fault. Felt the weight lift. The crushing guilt that had been dragging him down for years was now easing. Was even optimistic, saying that now she recognised her flaws, she could learn and better herself. Because he knew more than anyone that no one could help her but herself.

However, at her apology for everything she'd done, there was one thing he needed to talk about. The rest he could likely move on from with time. But their son was something that simply couldn't be swept under a rug. Asked her about him, challenged her even, asking if there really had been no other choice. Because while she had other children to love, he had been left with nothing, not even a body to properly mourn as Zael was traded in a deal. The answer he got wasn't what he wanted, suddenly thinking that perhaps their whole relationship had been flawed from the start. But the more the conversation continued, the more he could see the mess she'd become. Couldn't feel any joy or righteousness about it. Decided he would protect the new feelings of relief he had by ending the topic. At this point it wasn't worth living in the past, lest they both ruin themselves to it. When asked if they could start over from scratch, said he wasn't opposed to trying, but it would take time.

Left the Oryx after that, and wandered to find Melanie, telling the Star about what had transpired. Felt some form of triumph, that he hadn't bottled it but instead stood his ground with Zafeiri. Hoping the weight of guilt stays off his shoulders.

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03/10/20
Enjoyed the rut in the warmer forest when he finally managed to find time for it. Being more relaxed than the season in Svellorika, he was able to take a step back and enjoy watching without getting pulled into it himself. Incredibly impressed with Melanie and the progress she's made.

Warned of a 'Bone Eater' pack hunting within the Dead Wood. Found the news more troubling than he'd like to admit. Knows the hunting habits of most predators within his land, and couldn't help feeling as though something was 'off'. 'Bone Eaters' mostly scavenged, and even when desperate the number of corpses apparently found was still alarming and went agaisnt the creatures general habits. Warned Melanie about this rumour, and hoped that if it truly is just a pack of 'Bone Eaters', that they would leave the area sooner rather than later.

Has otherwise been plagued by something else entirely within the warmer forest. Cannot deny it or ignore it anymore, though is doing his best not to relapse after all the progress he's made on his mental health. He's in a better place now, and he needs to remind himself of that. Is however, feeling the crushing weight of anxiety every time he happens to glance her in the distance.

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21/06/20
Has taken time within the forest to heal and slow things down. After everything that happened, needed some peace to recollect himself and just chill. Essentially trying to catch a break. Though it seemed Melanie was still in demand. And when asked about it, told her to basically follow her gut. If she wanted to do it then go for it, and if not then say something now before the responsibility gets placed on her shoulders. Being given any kind of title with the word 'mother' in it wasn't something to be taken lightly. Feeling an eerie sense of deja vu. Always someone else's children...

Injuries are slowly but surely healing. Wonders if he carries scars, since he can't see them through his fur. Feels the bruising every time he moves to get up and put weight on his knees. He'd hit the rocks hard on that mountain. Maybe sleeping while standing is a better option for now.

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08/06/20
Faced his fears in more than one way over the last few weeks (months? I cry). Starting by slowly opening up about his past to Raja after she found him at the ruins, near a specific grave. That opened the flood gates to him opening up to Melanie and telling her things that he’d never voiced to anyone before, not even Brille. All the guilt and anguish he’d kept to himself revolving the death of his son, and how he believed he was a terrible father. And the anger he now felt towards everything that had transpired in the past. Felt a huge weight lift to the words the Star offered, seeing things from a different perspective, and, well he just needed some counselling tbh. Though it will never change the events that happened, he can at least move forward with his life with a clearer conscience.

Felt happier in the days to follow, enjoying life a little bit more. Watched a spar between Raja and Mel. Proud of their strength, as well as their eagerness to continue with the garden. Everything was perfect until reality smacked them in the face.

Returned to Svellorika for an otherwise quick trip, only to end up staying there for an unforeseeable time as Thorir’s mother had become ill. Herbivores were annoyingly good at hiding their ailments, and the Queen mother had been hiding hers since the last snow storm. Rocked to his core by this news and the dread of losing one of the few pillars in his life. The only pillar that had remained standing throughout his life while the others crumbled away. Became a shell to save himself from becoming hysterical by the situation, and was only vaguely aware of what was happening around him until Melanie offered an insane idea.

In Svellorika, the herd survives by leaving the sick and dying behind. Sacrifice oneself for the good of everyone else. That was how the world worked if you were a prey animal. There had never been an idea of trying to save the sick with medicine. It didn’t exist. Or did it? But who would dare venture to the mountains to retrieve a flower that may or may not even exist, to try and save someone within a constricted timeframe…Melanie would. And the Iron, with no other choice, would reluctantly agree to this crazy idea.

Animals of their size should not scale up mountains. But there they were, and in doing so Thorir gained a new fear of heights. They would walk for hours, spend the night on the side of a mountain and then continue further and further up, hoping they would not run into anything that wanted to eat them. Because if something did find them, they’d surely lose their footing on the narrow paths and fall off the edge.

But crazy ideas give birth to change. As impossible as it seemed, the flowers were real. And so was the cave lion.

Thorir had spent a lot of time with Melanie by this point, sharing personal details with her about his life and helping each other in any way they can. It was easy to say she was close to him, so close in fact that he’d take his life for hers. Launching towards the lion so that he was hit instead of her. He felt the stomach churning sensation of his tines impaling the beast, felt the sharp hot claws from its paws sink into his skin, felt its warm breath as its teeth snapped inches from his face. And he felt the ground give way beneath them. But it was okay. He had accepted it. This was it.

Melanie disagreed. He wasn’t quite sure what happened but he felt a kick that allowed his neck to turn with the momentum and fling the lion off his tines and over the edge. A second later and he was clinging onto the Star’s hair in a desperate attempt to climb up onto stable ground. Affirming his fear of heights. He’d cling to the inner wall, furthest from the edge, not wanting to get up and more importantly, not wanting to let go of her.

He was bleeding, but alive. All thanks to Melanie. And she would go on to do so much more as she saves the life of his mother with medicine that none knew existed until now. It would change and reshape how the herds dealt with illness, and it solidified the Iron’s feelings for the Star. He was now confident that he’d allowed the right one into his life.

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03/03/20
Nearly a month absent from the forest, the Iron and the Star were cut off from the path back to the portal. The storm would not allow them to leave Svellorika. Though the Iron had no intention of leaving his herd. No amount of preparation was ever enough for storms of this magnitude. Confined to the ruins of the Northern Wall, a once vast keep created by man, the herd would wait out the dire weather and hope that none succumbed to the bitter cold.

New problems would arise as the children tried to eat Melanie's stored seeds. It was sheer luck that Calla found a strong enough basket in the depths of the ruin cellars, to stop the children getting to such precious food. One crisis averted. And if it wasn't for Melanie, the herd might have suffered more losses than just one. Her ability to produce heat likely saved several from dying to the elements. It was something Thorir would forever be grateful for.

The one life they did lose however, was an elderly doe. Perhaps it was just her time, but a life is still a life. This was the reality of living in Svellorika. Her body was moved away when the storm finally passed. The herd could not afford to have the smell of death nearby, lest they attract starving predators who had also sought shelter during this time.

Weary and longing for the warmth of the green forest, the Iron and Star finally carved out a path back to the portal. They wanted to see how the garden was doing, and a bit peace couldn't hurt either. But this is TEF and no one gets peace in TEF.

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11/02/20
A sudden drop in temperature and darkening clouds finally brings the storm that Thorir had been expecting. That and a phenomenon the Svellorikan herds rarely got the chance to experience. Lightning. Though the flashing sky wasn’t something to marvel at. It was unnerving, frightening. And the snow storm would last days, weeks. Veteran members of the herd were used to this, but the young and old would suffer. There would be losses, it was just a matter of when.

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20/01/20
You cannot help someone without hurting someone else in the process. Words that he hates because they are often true.
Ventured to the forest, eager to see what progress the garden had made under the care of Melanie. Settled in a sun spot to warm up first though, defrosting in a sense and acclimating to the warmer weather. Soon saw a familiar figure. Raja. Felt a pang of guilt when she revealed how long it had been since they'd last seen each other. Caught up a little before being found by Melanie, and was informed that a doe was using the garden as a place to give birth. Expressed that it wasn't an issue, and that if something were to go wrong, to call for him. He didn't always go out of his way to help strangers. He wasn't a white knight. But he felt some obligation given the area in which the doe had chosen to bring her children into the world.

Finally made his way over when Raja departed, and spoke with Melanie while quietly assessing the scene. Births should be a happy occasion, but the Iron was hesitant as old memories were dredged to the forefront of his mind. Reminded of a life that was taken from him, and a happy family scene that he was unable to have. Spoke with the Star, shedding a little more of his life to her like he had with Raja. Slowly breaking down his walls and telling others of his struggles felt good. Heard a commotion in the birch but didn't think much of it, as long as it didn't venture near him and the garden. Regretted these thoughts the next day.

Settled with Yumi the following afternoon. And after a brief visit from Melanie, felt his heart sink at the sight of Raja. The commotion in the birch was an attack and Raja was part of it. Concerned over the state of her injuries and felt guilt for not going over to see what was happening. It wasn't his fault and yet he felt like it was. Nothing had happened near the garden, so if he had just taken the time to investigate...But as much as he mentally beat himself up, it wouldn't help anything. Raja was a strong doe, and he respected her a lot for it. Protecting her sister from a monster was very admirable. Made it clear that if she needed anything she'd only have to ask.

Joined by Melanie after and told her what had happened. Warned her about the attacker by relaying the vague description he'd been given. Then Melanie said something monumental and Thorir.ex stopped responding.

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30/12/19
Has been absent from the forest for some time now, showing Melanie and Calla around his lands of Svellorika. Ventured to various places, telling stories of his world and the various threats and dangers of living there. Though initially nervous of the pair settling in to their new life, has become more hopeful and at ease as time has passed.

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25/09/19
Had been hesitantly looking forward to the rut, and when he was finally able to give it a shot, felt like he brought his weather with him. A mix of guilt and weird enthusiasm followed. Guilt, as the snow reminded him of his duties back home, and enthusiasm because this weather was perfect for him. The prospect of taking regular trips to the pond to cool off had been daunting, but now he wouldn't need to do that.

Turns out, he wouldn't have needed to do that anyway. The day was quiet, tranquil. Spending time with Vysena first and eyeing any passerby with no results. Joined by Melanie then, and silently allowed the doe to inch closer to take some of his body heat. And when Vysena left, was joined by Nhoz. Despite looking forward to potential fights, he was in all honesty, content.

That peace wouldn't last however, as he eventually sparked up conversation with Melanie. And that conversation soon took a turn. Was asked about Brille. And to save himself from slipping, his response was that he simply didn't know where she was. Watched the Fallen Star crumble to that answer, and as the sight threatened to unravel his own emotions as well, he was quick to try and move the conversation along. Asked why the doe needed Brille for help, and learnt that Melanie needed somewhere safe to go, along with her companion Calla. Gave it a heavy thought, pondering. And eventually offered Svellorika as a place for the two to go. Couldn't just ignore seeing the doe so distraught, and felt an obligation to help since Brille was not here to do so. Picking up the pieces she'd left behind...

With that said, made plans to meet the next day.

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03/09/19
In higher spirits than he has been over the past few months, to the surprise of his herd back in Svellorika. Usually the time of year borders on depressing for the Iron as he has limited involvement in the Svellorikan herds rutting season. But this time round he feels a weight lifted, a revelation somewhat related to the rut. He's ready to move on.

As a result, is timidly looking forward to the rut in the warmer forest. If he cannot participate in his own kingdom due to his royal bloodline, then he will enjoy the event in a different setting, and freely.

Such a revelation came from Vysena as he showed her around his homeland. Though she likely doesn't know it, the Dragoness opened his eyes. Showing that there was more to life than the monochrome hues the Iron had seemed to accept. Depression is a dangerous thing, and he's grateful to be pulled from it before it consumed him entirely. There's more to life than dwelling on the past.

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15/08/19
Feels as though he's somehow stuck in the same spot while others leave and move on. So when an opportunity appeared for a change of pace, he took it immediately.
Isn't sure if he regrets not showing his past lover his world or not...But it was something he'd wanted to do regardless, and the moment Vysena asked, he agreed to take her despite barely knowing the doe. Anything to change his daily routines.

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22/04/19
Felt the temperature change the moment he stepped a hoof back into the forest. Quick to move towards the ruins and rest upon the cold stone slab to help readjust to the climate. Watchful over his sons 'grave'. Some habits will never change.

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04/04/19
Gifted with a book some days ago by Morrow. The contents were pictures, photographs of a human world. Though the creatures were different to what he'd envisioned, they were still less than pretty in his eyes. And slowly he could start to put things together in his mind on how these humans would have lived him his world. Though it was only on his return to Svellorika that he really started to think about the objects left behind in the crumbled homes, mainly what the humans had used to hunt with...

HOWEVER, looking through the book wasn't exactly a bad experience, and some of the scenes were breathtaking to look at. Deserts really did exist, and the view at the top of a mountain was better than he expected, so much so that now he wants to climb one himself and player sighs because he's too fat.

Upon returning to Svellorika, had ideas to go and ask the mammoths about the images in the book. Though decided against the plan upon hearing news that a yearling had fallen through the ice. Knew it wouldn't survive, and as mammoths didn't leave their dying behind, offered help by sending out scouts so that extra eyes were vigilant of dire wolves, and the family could be left to mourn in peace.

Hesitant after that to show anyone his 'alien' possession. It was so out of place here, so eventually resigned to hiding it until his return to the forest.

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24/03/19
Making friends? Trying his best. Became acquainted with Morrow and came to realise how little he really knew about those around him. Had his eyes opened to the concept of humaNS past what he knew of them in his homeland. Trying to wrap his head around their appearance but as of right now is likely imagining some form of naked mole rat that walks on two legs.

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10/03/19
Has been in surprisingly better spirits recently, despite his otherwise downcast appearance. Keeping company with a young doe (Raja) has helped improve his outlook on things for the rest of the year, even if she hasn't exactly done anything specific. Is now looking forward to nurturing his small garden, picking up where his former lover had left things. A fresh start.

Today found himself in the company of Nhozemphtehk and Jude. Glad to see the doe around, and that she is doing well.