October 14, 2009 - 12:47am — faunet
Has some one seen my heart
It was flying high in the sky
Protected from all the hurtful things of this world
But know its out of site o where ever did it go?
There it is in that theifs hand
He took my heart from its place of safty and there it lies in the palm of his hand.
While the other hand bears a knife
There lies my heart beating as if theres no tomorrow
I call out to ask the strangers name and begged him stop.
With a toothless grin he replies I am destruction here to destroy everything in my path.
Before I can scream my pleas he stabs my heart.
Has some one seen my heart for I can not feel it beating.
Im trying my hand in poetry what do you think.
Ohhhh freestyle, not many
Not bad. :>
I would just say try to keep it more brief and try not to repeat the same ending words on back-to-back lines like you did with 'hand'.
Very nice and very effective
Thank you.