~Just a little thing I had stuck in my mind. A blah blah blah told by Epon, because first person is easy.~

I hate rain.

It's easy to confuse rain with water falling from the sky and getting wet.

I do not hate getting wet. I hate rain. It's hard to see through rain and it makes a lot of noise.

And I heard from someone that monsters like rain. How am I supposed to see and hear monsters, when I can only see and hear rain?

It just so happens it was raining, and I was in it. Well, I was under a rock, so I was not technically in it, but I was in it nonetheless. All the orange and red leaves that looked so elegant were slowly turning into big wet mush and after a few sunrises they'll have disappeared back into the ground. I don't really mind though. Leaves do give the forest a fresh, crisp charm, but think of all the dangerous creatures that could be hiding in a pile of leaves, snapping up any unsuspecting fawns.

Shocking.

Speaking of fawns, No Eyes had yet to return. That fawn is the dumbest thing I've ever known. I've seen squirrels that can learn faster than her. I lay under my rock, not technically in the rain, hoping that No Eyes would see a leaf pile creature and get snapped up. Not likely, because even stupid fawns can see evil leaf pile monsters when it's all wet and gunky. Fact.

A nameless saw me. In my many years in the forest, I've learnt that nameless' cannot be trusted simply because that if one does anything, you don't have a name to pass on to other deer. No that I talk to other deer. The nameless kind get bored easily, so if you lie very still and hold your breath, they run off as if you just punched them.

I don't punch nameless deer, it just was a simile.

So this nameless does exactly as I thought. Good.

My ears acted like radars to any untrustworthy sounds. Trees. Hooves. Rain. I was sure to bend down lower when I heard hooves, so the deer won't see me. You can tell a lot of a deer by their hoof sounds. How tall. How large. How young. Male? Female? Monster? It usually works if you listen carefully and don't meet any giant fawns. Hooves are relaxing yet frightful to listen to, however I've been living on the edge since I grew up so I'm perfectly capable of doing it.

Silence. Rain. Trees.

Some more hooves. As they came closer the sound of rain drained them less and less. They were coming closer. The hooves made light sounds, like skipping stones on a pond. A fawn. I shivered partially with fear. I've had a few unexpected fawn attacks so now those little buggers scare me. Big deal. I'd like to meet a deer not scared of those little demon devouts.

I froze. The fawn was going to come over anyway. Nosy. I looked over the tall grass, and I saw...

A monster. It had gotten bored under it's leaf pile and come for me! All it's gunky leaves were stuck to it, so you couldn't see it properly! The little moving gunky thing came closer and closer until it done the worst thing imaginable. It nudged me, obviously trying to burrow into my flesh. My worst nightmare was slowly coming true. It's huge leafy face came closer and closer as I backed myself again the rock. It spoke in a warbled tongue, despite this there was one word that clearly came out of it's leafy jaws. Dying. It warbled for what seemed like minutes then spat a horrid leaf gunk all over me. I could see it's teeth. Little, yet perfect for grinding up leafy gunk and unsuspecting fawn. It's eyes were huge, staring at me.

“Epon, why are you hiding?”

I stared at the monster. It was worse than a monster. “No Eyes I'm having private times go away.” I mumbled quickly, trying to act as if I wasn't just cornered by a monster which was guaranteed to eat me. “Why are you covered in leaves?”

“I was hiding under a leaf pile. Remember, once you went by and--”

“Yes, yes, I remember clearly.” I coughed. “So why are there leaves all in your mouth?”

“I was protecting them. They're dying Epon and none of the deer care!”

I sighed and lay down. This was No Eyes' first Autumn and also with the fact that she's stupid, there was a lot she didn't know about the world. “They aren't dying. Well, they are all ready dead, but that's just because the trees don't need them. When the winter comes the trees go sleep and don't need leaves. Now go sleep like a tree.”

No Eyes shook her head. “I want to tell you about my day first.”

“No, no. That's not allowed since I banned it yesterday. Go sleep.” No Eyes frowned and lay beside me. She doesn't even know how to break rules. Only social ones. There were a few sweet seconds of silence, apart from the lighter drizzle of rain.

“Epon?” No Eyes murmured. “Can you tell me about the humans?”

I glanced at her and scoffed. What a stupid question from such a stupid fawn. It was a surprise she even knew the word human. “What about them?”

“Why do they hug trees?”

“Ah, when I was young I did wonder about that myself.” That question was far less stupid since humans don't even know. I had figured it out long ago. “You see, No Eyes, trees are the masters of subliminal-- secret messaging.”

No Eyes' stupid eyes watched me intently. “And human fall for them very easily.” I continued. “Trees spend their entire lives screaming 'Hug me!' to human passers by. However, as we all know, trees voices are very high and special and can only be heard by cows. The humans, although they can't hear the trees, a certain part of their highly complex brain detects the waves and the human feels an urge to hug the tree. And later on, the trees all boast about how many hugs they got.”

“That explains a lot!” giggled No Eyes. “Can I hug little trees?”

“No...” I shook my head. “I've told you many times No Eyes, you don't hug little trees. You end up crushing them. If you want to hug a tree go find a nice tall one with pinecones.”

“All right then!” And before I knew it she disappeared through the forest.

As if by magic, the rain stopped falling and all the evils melted away with it. I rested my head on the grass, watching the leafy pile metres away from me. You always need to keep a lookout for evil leaf pile monsters.