"I am here as a friend." | Winter

Iaurdagnire's picture


I breathed a heavy sigh as I awoke from a dream. It was a pleasant dream, but I couldn't tell you why it was so. Funny things they are, dreams... you can wake the happiest you have ever been, but as soon as you try and remember why, the reason and images vanish from your memory. Where am I? Oh yes, the ferns among the red flowers. I've been lingering there lately as more often than not, smiling faces are the to greet me from the very moment I open my eyes. But today I am met with a chill to my bones, and no sign of anyone. Even the smell of the flowers had been destroyed by the cold... the weather in this forest befuddles me.

"Do you know me, Sir?"

A voice slithered around my ears and held me by the throat. I began to shiver, as if the sound had triggered a past energy that had remained dormant within me. I tried to repeat the question in my head, in that same voice, but I couldn't. Was it even a sound? I looked about me, standing fast and holding my head as high as possible. I knew not of the origin or form of what I can best describe as the 'feeling', and therefore I couldn't help but fear whatever it was that had shook me to my core in that single moment.

I could not see it.

I could not hear it.

I could not smell it.

"Show yourself, wolf of the mind!" My voice cracked as I bellowed, crying wolf for the unknown. I couldn't help but feel that I had been here before. I did not get a reply, as expected; my predator would not make itself known to me. As I searched, walking in tight circles, the mist grew thicker and the snow had begun to gather in the notches of my antlers.
"My patience is feigning..." I growled under breath. There had not been another word for some time, but the reduction of visibility had increased. I could see nothing in front of me now, and a battering wind had rendered my ears useless. Bit by bit, the anticipation of an attack grew to anger. I could take it no more. Roaring a war cry, I came down on the tree sheltering me and tore into its trunk, adorning my antlers with its flesh. My hot breath challenged the air itself, spewing clouds of its own into the already thick fog. Suddenly a stag appeared, but dissipated upward as soon as my eyes met with it. Those eyes... they pierced my very soul and seemed to command the wind that burned me.

"I ask again: Do you know me?"

I narrowed my eyes and threw my head back. There. The voice was coming from the sky. It looked as if the sun had frozen, then shattered across the carpet above; the clouds were so bright I couldn't bare to look at them without my eyes summoning great red and purple spots. My knee rose to rub them clean, and as I did so, I could feel a presence close to me. Hesitantly I forced the darkness away and focused on what was now made visible. It was... snow. But it didn't trickle down to the ground like the other flakes. Instead it fluttered, dancing about like an indecisive butterfly. More flakes gathered, closer and closer into a uniform display that whipped about my legs and soared in great waves above my head and around the trees. Two areas of the theatrical wind-guided form started to glow a bright white, and gradually a face appeared.

I was unwell.

My throat screamed as the liquid I expelled felt like barbs dragging themselves through my body. Spluttering, I staggered to another tree. And in the weakest voice, I replied to his question.

"Yes... I do know you, dear Winter."



The Spirit of Winter let a triumphant bugle rip from his throat which transpired to be a great howl of wind. I took a step back as the sheer force of it near toppled me.
"Why are you so... afraid of me, Iaurdagnire? I have not come with the same intentions as before..." He whispered, reducing himself to a ribbon-like form and curling around my neck in the manner of a snake,
"In fact," Winter hissed, "I'm here to warn you." He wriggled behind my ear and up to my antlers, stretching himself across them as if they were his cradle and stayed there, swaying gently.
"If... If you have come to try and take-" I couldn't quite manage the thought of him trying to bargain with my life again, "W-What is it you want. My mind? It is already yours. I do not believe in the Twin's, so the fact that I am talking to a spiritual creature, well," I allowed myself a chuckle, "my mind is already lost."
"So even after what I had put you through before, you still do not wish to believe in me? I'm afraid you have no choice. You are our body in this world."
"Enough!" I reared and shook my head violently to rid the creeping cloud entangled in my branches. I could hear manic laughter as it shattered and reformed in front of me as a full bodied white stag. His eyes snared me once again, and I could not look away.
"...Why." I demanded rather than questioned, "Why do you bully me into bowing to my supposed purpose; I thought the deer of this forest helped rid me of you." Winter walked in a circle and flashed the underside of his tail. It was staggeringly beautiful, and as impossible as it may sound, I could see every detail of every flake that made up it's surface. It was like looking into a pool of stars... but more like surrendering to the calm distraction as he answered a lengthy reply.

"We are mere seasons, Iaurdagnire. We are not beings. We have no voice that gives us identity. We cannot interact with each other, and the only forms we can take are that of the ice over the pond, the new bud of a flower, the summer warmth and the falling of leaves. Changing the weather, the land, is our only purpose. But we wished to learn about the world we change in the name of the Gods in this Divine Land and the laws surpassed by Mother Nature herself. And so, they granted us you. You are a creature of the forest - a being who is real - and can be at one with the inhabitants who live through our changes. Over time you can grow, you can learn, and you return to us with this knowledge. That is your purpose, as it has always been."

As he spoke I grew weak in the knees and had to sit down. I felt sick again. Surely this... this could not be! Rarely is a creature born without an unhappy past or a dark personality in this forest, and I thought I was fortunate to exist this happy life amongst magic. Now, oh now I know the Gods exist in this ridiculousness standing before me.
"Yet you take the form of a deer, speak, laugh as if you have feelings... you are a trick, a poorly explained trick." I rose my head in the direction of the Twin statues, "If I was to say I believed, would you rid me of this laughable ghost?" There was the laughter again.
"Poor misguided fool," he cackled, "you gave us our bodies. You gave us our voices! That is what it means to bestow knowledge. You have taught us to be who you are!"
"LIES!" I screamed and jumped to my hooves once more, "You are nothing like me! Never would I dictate a life that was not mine!"

Silence.

Winter did not move. The wind had stopped, and the snow began to fall in slow uniform once again.
"You have been many things." The white stag continued calmly, "Every time you are reborn, you are never the same. It is impossible to live the same life twice, as it is equally impossible for all of us to acquire you... only one of us can end your present life and grant you a new one; all four seasons cannot be in the same place at once... We cannot divide the world and share it, and so we cannot share you in this holy place."
Whilst it was a lot to take in, I couldn't help but notice a great flaw in his explanation.
"... But it is Summer, now. You have no place here."
"Yes, interesting how Summer has been... absent from his duties." He turned away suddenly, "But Autumn does not lack vigilance. We only get one chance to relieve our servant of his duties, and my chance has ended. I was greedy and made myself known before you were ready to be taken. If Autumn sees now as the right time... they will be far less forgiving than I."
"You speak of me as if I am a cow being primed for slaughter," I growled, the hair on my body stiffening into needles that prickled and agitated my hooves to move, "and you dare to call me a servant."
"Well..." Winter shrugged as his whole body rose into the air. Slowly, his form melted away and was struck by the wind, "...With the knowledge that you are bound to spirits, why not pray for the Gods to rid you of your duties if your are not grateful for your endless life? Only they can make it so. They may appear before you today if you are sincere in your prayers and swear yourself to them..."
"What? W-Wait!" I ran after the fading white light as the wind carried it off and over the hills toward the Twin statues. This spirit, this... Winter, was it one of the God's after all? Even as he explained all he could, I was still at a loss. If I did believe, what do they expect from me? If I stood by my own life and way of living, would anything change? When I came to the hill by the pond, Winter had disappeared and taken the snow with him. He left me a truly glorious sight to behold... Never had I seen so many deer in one place. Never had I doubted myself and my own judgment.

Until now.



"I... Iaur..." A faint voice spoke out. The voice then nodded cautiously and invited me to join his side just shy of the crowd.
"Enigima, I... I'm not sure." He coaxed me into joining the celebratory dance, and I was amazed that he did so. Enigima was skittish, always running, but I had somehow befriended him. He may run from me from time to time, but I had come to trust him. It was wonderful to see how outgoing he was, how such a smile settled on his face. But... that same smile seemed to be reflected in everyone else. I apologize, for words fail me. I could not possibly describe the togetherness I felt here, in that moment. And if the view couldn't be more perfect, Saosin was atop the statues! How I wished I were up there, taunting the Gods to come out. Which begged the question: where were they, whoever 'they' may be?
"Dag!" I could hear another calling my name, a soothing coo above the clattering of hooves. My beloved Oseaan had come... she had come.
"O-Oseaan!" At first I was afraid of what she would say to me. She told me she had witnessed the Gods before - an Abiogenesis - and as much as I wanted to believe her I simply couldn't at the time... but of course, I never told her that. If she believed in them, I would defend her word with every inch of me. But to my surprise she didn't say anything at all; she was just happy to be here with me.

After dancing for a substantial amount of time, the herd grew weary. One by one, they retreated to the grass.
"Everyone's sitting down now..." Oseaan trailed off, bless her wonderful heart. The 'Following Doe' is named as such for a reason. I smiled and motioned with my hoof for her to rest where I stood,
"Please, do sit with me." We both smiled bashfully and sat close together, joined by Saosin and Enigima. Her presence alone made me forget about my tormentor, and if believing in the Twin God's made everyone this close and happy to be with each other, then perhaps it wasn't such a ridiculous notion after all. My heart began to throb in wait of my revelation as my eyes became transfixed on those statues. I felt that if I just focused hard enough, I could channel the tension in the air to forcefully move and pry the Gods from their hiding. Gradually, hope was being lost, and a few strayed away back to their daily routine.

No... No. My hopes were raised...



"Get up!" I shouted, rearing on the spot. My shadow touched all of those around me, "Get up! Sound your voices, wake them!" Perhaps it was my enthusiasm, or perhaps my fearsome approach to getting everyone on their feet again. But they did, and the cycle began. Yes, we eventually ended up back on our bellies, staring now listlessly at the Twin's.
"No..." I whispered. Damn him. Damn them.
"Dag... Dag, what is it? It's okay, if they don't come today they'll always be another time." Oseaan said with a smile and nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder, "Smile? For me?"
Oh, how I would have loved to have smiled for her. But in truth, I felt I could have wept. How could I have let myself be sucked into Winter's lies! No, no it was I who had let myself down! A wolf of the mind... yes, that was it, I was right all along. Those mushrooms with Silence, it all makes sense. Instantly feeling like a great weight had been lifted from my back, I relaxed back into my shoulders and exhaled. Those mushrooms.
"Oh, never mind." Oseaan laughed sweetly, "It's so dark out here! I can't really tell if you're smiling."
"It's... dark?" I asked, looking around in bewilderment, "My dear, it's perfectly bright out here."
She stayed silent for a moment, confused by my question.
"Sir Wudiin shines his light upon us so clearly tonight." A commanding and respectable stag sounded from behind. It was, of course, Sir Virgil, "Gods or no Gods, tonight is truly a celebration."

I didn't speak after that, but I came to and from the forest as the day went on a mulled over what Winter had said. If I was sincere in my prayers...

The hill slowly became clear once again, and it was as if nothing had been expected at all. Yet, still, when everyone else seemed to act as if cloaked in darkness, everything before my eyes was as clear as day. I could feel the sun on my back, and it was as real as the grass under my hooves. I hadn't gone mad. I had simply been denied the night.

"You did not need to put yourself before me to prove your existence, did you." I bowed my head in prayer, "You did more than that. You took away my right to bathe in the light of the most respected Stag to ever grace this forest..." I closed my eyes. "But I cannot accept your presence just as I cannot accept the existence of the Season Spirits... I cannot except my fate. My life is my own, and I will fight to live it as I choose. There is no bargain to be made, and no prayer I can offer..."

Verycrazygirl's picture

OSNAP! _____ Virgil

OSNAP!
_____
Virgil


Firefli's picture

Poor Dag, though I can't

Poor Dag, though I can't help wanting to read more XD
J!n's picture

Oh, beautiful

Oh, beautiful<3
I really enjoyed reading this.

Pegasicorn's picture

Winter seems to be stubborn

Winter seems to be stubborn about bothering Iaurdagnire. I love how you portrayed Winter though.

---
The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Pega's Forest Philosophy: "Look for Friends. Let Love find you."
"If you don't like something, tolerate it."
Iaurdagnire's picture

Thank you everyone =) the

Thank you everyone =) the second part of this will be posted later. I hope you'll be prepared for an epic twist XD
Verycrazygirl's picture

Absolutely beautiful,

Absolutely beautiful, Iaurdagnire! I enjoyed reading every moment of it. <333333
_____
Virgil


Rouda's picture

-tracks this- I'll read this

-tracks this-
I'll read this later, I has no time now and this way I won't lose it. 8DD
/pointless.

Your writing just might be

Your writing just might be hypnotizing.
Truly.
I so glad to finally learn more about Iaurdagnire, and more about how the seasons relate to him.
And with those screenshots, well, you've made quite a piece of work here.

Keep it up. Cool

Iaurdagnire's picture

Thank you ^^ I apologize for

Thank you ^^ I apologize for all the mistakes, but after I submitted it the forum had a fit about me posting so much writing and I couldn't edit it. I'll have to try again later.

Awh Shimmy you're too kind. I'm glad it wasn't too confusing to follow? It was a difficult subject 8D
Rouda's picture

Oookaaay. I just read it and

Oookaaay. I just read it and I am totally amazed. 8O You have incredible writing skills. And all that description. Gosh. You're just unbelievable. 8D

You're quite welcome. You

You're quite welcome. You deserve much more praise than I can offer, though. O:
Nope! I've been waiting for a story like this to explain a little more about him, and you didn't disappoint!
<3


Timberwolf's picture

Enjoyed your writing and

Enjoyed your writing and hope you will add more! Old deer bows, very nice!


Timberrc
Timberrc
Fenqua's picture

I didn't see this until now,

I didn't see this until now, but I loved reading it. I also adore how you edited winter into the picture, well done! <3



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
Iaurdagnire's picture

Rouda -> 8D That's too much

Rouda -> 8D That's too much praise for me to deal with! XD Thank you!
shimmy -> I'm glad! It's hard tormenting my always-happy-Daggie though. I want to give him a cuddle XD Perhaps Autumn might be nicer to him...
Timberwolf -> Thank you =)
Fenqua -> Glad to see you around again! Thank you for the compliments =)
Firefli's picture

I love your writings, there

I love your writings, there always something in them that makes you keep reading and want more. And I have to agree with Shimmy on how I love learning more about him :D
Iaurdagnire's picture

I'm very happy you like them

I'm very happy you like them ^^ I wish I could have included a bit more towards the end, but I was tired 8D haha