A Persistent [Balthamos] Memory

GuardianGhost's picture




'Hover' css ahead.
Warning: may contain mature/disturbing language or themes.
Any kind of interaction is welcome.
Email:
Skype: dustdeluge
On somekind of break, probably will be active again on the end of September c:






Updates
" ... "

...

Physical Health : 80%
Mental Health : 90%

Traits
Name : Sean Grieg (forgotten)
Known as : Balthamos, 'Mos
Title : The Guardian Ghost
Gender : Male Fawn
Age : Ageless
Species : Tef deer / Ghostly Presence
Orientation : Panromantic
Voice : Childlike, not clearly masculine
Size : #23
Scent of dust and musty smell
Candles, Crying mask, Zombie pelt, Mini spell

Ex Guardian Angel Tends to 'watch over' the others, the more he feels closed to someone, the stronger this instinct becomes. Moreover, he's still influenced by his old code, which, for example, pushes him to tell (nearly) always the truth or to get very angry at crystal clear injustices. He's no fanatic, anyway. - Cradle Has elected to his home a little tomb at the graveyard, which looks like a cradle to him. Dislikes unknow creatures taking this place. - Animate He's like a breathing living creature, with a beating heart, and his body, as solid, can be damaged. Nevertheless he's ice-cold to the touch. - Paranoid Suffers of persecutory delusions. He's sure that "They" are on his trail and will find him even in the forest. Even if he's unlikely to consider a forest creature as one of They, he will be deeply upset by deers that seems to stalk or spy him.
- Water Due to his previous life experiences, he 's terribly scared of the pond and suspicious of the water in general. The snow is ok since it doesn't melt on his cold pelt, but the rain causes him to flee in search of a refuge. - Soul Washer Punished with a contrapasso that resembles his sin: as he tried to purify a soul recurring to an easy way, so he must do to all the souls which asks his services. The purification consists in the forget of specific memories, that the Guardian Ghost will remember instead of the "washed" soul. - Diet Since he 's partially ghost, he actually doesn't need to eat or drink anything. In spite of that, he's fascinated by the view of eating creatures and by any kind of sweet food. Instead he finds the process of drinking quite distrurbing.

- Obliging, always extremely respectful of everyone and well-mannered, is used to refer to others calling them "Miss" or "Mr".
- Clingy, has a constant feel of cold, so he's attracted the nearest possible to other living creatures. But this doesn't mean he dislikes cold creatures.
- Submissive, hates having arguments with others and will always search for a diplomatic way in order to solve problems.
- Patient and, if not stimulated, extremely quiet, since has no real time perception.
- Lives in the constant fear of being abandoned by everyone, a thing that considers inescapable.
- Poor fighter. In spite of his strong will, he has no clue on how to fight properly, lacks in physical strenght and has no antlers neither any kind of offensive "weapons". A ridiculously easy pray.
- Owner of Cypher's tie clip (a gift by Migisi), kept in "his" cradle.


Relations

Trusts
Migisi, Leviathann (gone), Cypher (gone), Nat-Nat

Acquaintances
Illrose, Crucio, Saburo, Alain, Djinn, Bright Eyes (awe), Herla, Harley, Umay (awe), Greitai, Ravly, Berlioz

New Encounters
Kody, Beren, Morikiah, Shineri, Gehirn (awe), Sho, Sonne, Momo, Vladimir, Neveah, Rumia

Fears
Tullus, The Warlock (deceased), Geography, Tieff (deeply unsure), Sianna, Tikwid, Ariel, Jack (gone)


Other

Writings
By me (x,x,x,x) - By Quadraptor (x)

Art
By me (x,x,x) - By Chickenwhite (x) - By Kohva (x,x) - By Cicadia (x)
By Pegasicorn (x) - By Meadow (x) - By HellsBells (x) - By Mouchette (x)





Upper art by HellsBells.
Credit to Unplugged and Shamiya's awesome CSS blogs.
Balthamos belongs to me, he is an original idea, always IC and does not represent the player.

Hm, track. I believe this is

Hm, track. I believe this is the little fellow The Girl in White came across? Forgive me if she startled him. c:
GuardianGhost's picture

Yes, it's indeed my Mos

Yes, it's indeed my Mos ^^
And no need to apologize, deers approaching suddenly scares him a little xD
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

/ I answered to our RP, btw /

/ I answered to our RP, btw /

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

[E:] Late reply for Laiia: "

[E:] Late reply for Laiia:

" Yes ... Yes I am fine ... Just unpleasant memories ... Sorry Miss " He replied quick, gaining again control of his emotions. " I do not actually mind being hurted ... But in the past, my ... Excessive attention ... Made someone else suffering. It was my fault. Has this ever happened to you, Miss ? ... You are wise when you say that we should not grow ... Attached ... To others. " He ended, with a resigned tone in his vioce. The ghostly fawn investigated one more time the doe's bright eyes before adding " You say you feel serene when you are protecting some people, Miss Nat-Nat ... I envy you because of this. "
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat slighly smiled to the

Nat-Nat slighly smiled to the fawn, soft. • Yes... In some way, yes. It wasn't exactly the same situation, but... I wanted to resolve a conflict... And it hurted much of people. • Her smile became slighly sad. She looked the horizon. The day was calm. Excepting the water, the birds and the nature song, the silence was a king here. She looked back to the polite fawn, smiling sincerely. She didn't remember if someone has already called her "Miss Nat-Nat", and she found it pretty cute. • You're feeling bad when you're protecting other, little Balthamos... ? • she asked, slighly frowning, intrigued.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Balthamos thought the doe had

Balthamos thought the doe had an awesome smile. He had met really few paranormal creature as cute as Miss Nat-Nat. He felt sorry for her when she told him about the unpleasant experience - an happening he understands very well - and decided he had to say something in order to cheer her up ... But nothing good came across his mind, so, following her look, the fawn enjoyed the awesome view for a while. How long all that was going to last? Days? Weeks? He could almost hear the clock's ticking ... At the question, he focused again on his company. " The fact is ... You see, Miss Nat-Nat ... I want so badly to watch over souls, but ... It should not be my task anymore. Because ... I am not able to accomplish it anymore. " He admitted, without the courage of talking about his physical conditions... His icy skin, his musty smell.
" And I am afraid that my attention could put the others in danger ... I do not want Them to touch the ones I care about ... Can you understand this, Miss ?" He said with some difficult.
siggy by Pegasicorn
ocean's picture

Tracking this, your mini's

Tracking this, your mini's quite sweet. And an interesting character too!
ShikaTale's picture

Track the deer with the grey

Track the deer with the grey pelt and RD mask was my Shika |D
GuardianGhost's picture

Ocean: Thank you, I'm

Ocean:
Thank you, I'm flattered. Have we ever meet in forest?

ShikaTale:
I know it, and thanks for the track ^^
siggy by Pegasicorn
ocean's picture

Just now, getting Hooran's

Just now, getting Hooran's antlers. ^^ But not before that, though I've seen you around the site. c:
GuardianGhost's picture

Oh, I see ^^ I'll keep an

Oh, I see ^^
I'll keep an eye on your picto (:
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat had a soft smile. She

Nat-Nat had a soft smile. She felt a bit sad abour his speakings. She knew this feeling. She knew it so much... • Balthamos... Yes, I understand you. I'm living the same. But... Are They in yourself ? I mean, do they take your body... ? Because, if you believe in it... You can to controle them. To be the master. • She looked randomly behind her. Like if "They" were here. Looking to Balthamos. But it was stupid. Maybe "They" were in his body ? That's why she asked.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
1Antidote's picture

Hello. ouo

Hello. ouo
GuardianGhost's picture

Laiia: He thought for a while

Laiia:
He thought for a while before answering. " In ... me? It happened sometimes, but no ... not now at least. They came from the Abyss and the Heavenly Skyes at the same time " The fawn replied, puzzled. That doe really seems to know a lot about the paranormal's dynamics. A new question come to the ghost's cyanotic lips " You are very well informed, Miss Nat-Nat ... How could you know about those things ? Probably you came from an astral dimension, even if you do not remember ... Or maybe you have born in the Hereafter ... " He started to suppose. It wasn't a great discover, but maybe he could help the doe someway ... In the end he wanted to do it so badly, it was becoming a torturing need.

1Antidote:
Uh, hi :3
I realized just now that you're Beren's player ... Hope that Mos isn't annoying him xD
siggy by Pegasicorn
1Antidote's picture

Oh, no, he's fine with Mos

Oh, no, he's fine with Mos around. c: Just got a bit too overprotective of his sister(Nat-Nat) at first.

This character seems interesting. And by that I mean that you'll be stalked. B|
GuardianGhost's picture

I see. And aw, thank you, I'm

I see.
And aw, thank you, I'm flattered c:
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Oh ! Mos visited Nat' ?

Oh ! Mos visited Nat' ? <3

__

Nat-Nat nodded. • If they are intelligent, they won't come if you're near someone. It would be bad for them. They certainly want to be discret. • Then, she listened, her ears moving sometimes, to show she was listening, attentive. She looked back to Balthamos. • Maybe, yes... But I love the paranormal things, and I saw so much of strange stuff in my life... I'm a paranormal creature myself. And I'm maybe stranger than anything on this earth, so I can imagine all... All the surreal. • She giggled a bit, still surprized. • The Hereafter... ? Oh, no, I don't think. • She smiled. It was possible, though. Who could know... ?

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
Laiia's picture

Double post o3o

Double post o3o

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Yes, he watched over her for

Yes, he watched over her for a while <3

- A relpy will go here -
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

It's very nice from him

It's very nice from him ♥

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

The ghostly fawn listened

The ghostly fawn listened carefully the doe's theories " I hope you are right, Miss. Actually I never had anyone around me when They ... Yes, you know ... Caught me. I do not know if others could make any difference ... " The second statement made Balthamos looking even more melancholy, soaked in his past. " You say you love the paranormal things, Miss Nat-Nat ... I was used to think the same ... A long time ago. I was ... Hungry ... about knowing more and more about the paranormal ... Now I wish I could forget everything I have learned " A long, thoughtful pause followed. " May I ask you, Miss ... Do you ever wish to forget anything ? " he asked, heartfelt.
siggy by Pegasicorn

Well hello there. I see you

Well hello there. I see you found my demon, Me-Yuki.
It's a pleasure to know who this is. Seems like a darling character.
GuardianGhost's picture

I believe it has been sheer

I believe it has been sheer chance? (:
Thank you so much <3
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

The doe listened, attentive

The doe listened, attentive and interested. Then, she looked back, to hide some sadness in her eyes. "I would like to forget... All my past. So I would only live for the present moment, and not for all the things who're behind me." The question of the little one maked her feeling fautive. Some images came back to her eyes, hurting her. Then, she asked : "Why this question, if I may ask... ?"

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

The doe's reaction confused a

The doe's reaction confused a bit Balthamos : he haven't imagined that there could be so much sorrow beyond Nat-Nat's kind smile. ... I would like to forget ... All my past ... She said. He had heard that sentence so many times that his usual conditioned reflex had the upper hand over him. The fawn shuddered violently and an ancestral fear filled his heart. But the question ... She asked a question ... And you have to reply, always, with the truth.
" Because ... You know, Miss Nat-Nat ... That is how you get when you do this job ... I am ... An expert about memories ... Uhhh ... "
He could do nothing but trying to figure out what kind of terrible past the doe had, and monstrous, gruesome images started to turn feverishly in his mind. Memories from different ex-owners melted toghter, dazzling him with blood, scream and painful visions. Shhh ... The ghost banged his head on the ground, attempting to cover it with the hooves.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

The doe looked Balthamos,

The doe looked Balthamos, very afraid. He became... Very strange. Like tortured. Nat-Nat sat next to him, very worried. • Bal... Balthamos... ? What... What do you have... ? • she asked. She didn't understand his last sentence very well. Could he sees her past ? Could he sees what she did ? What she did to innocent souls ? She bited her lips, and turned her head back, so Balthamos wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. Some images came back to her eyes. She layed her head on the ground, curling. The doe she was, in the past, was now gone. She could controle herself. She could.
She shyly looked back to Balthamos, trying to chase her tears away. She hoped that Balthamos didn't see her past. Or he would be too afraid... Because she was, and she knew it, she was a monster...

... In the past.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
Dampir's picture

Track (:

Track (:
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you, Dampir! Laiia,

Thank you, Dampir!

Laiia, I'll reply soon.
siggy by Pegasicorn
HB's picture

Traack ~

Traack ~
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you

Thank you <3
siggy by Pegasicorn

I added you on MSN. (: Also,

I added you on MSN. (:
Also, thank you for the help with the mini spell.
GuardianGhost's picture

Okay ^^ And you're welcome.

Okay ^^
And you're welcome. We have been quite lucky with it xD
siggy by Pegasicorn

I agree, it's normally such a

I agree, it's normally such a pain. x)
GuardianGhost's picture

Laiia: Slowly, the fawn

Laiia:
Slowly, the fawn raised his head. He looked really tired, but more serene than before. A pebble had made a little cut on his forehead, and some odd, viscous blood was flowing through it. Unaware of that, he replied, after a deep sigh " Nothing ... It is nothing, Miss Nat-Nat ... I am sorry, did not want to scare you ... Are you crying ? " He asked suddenly, glancing at her eyes. He felt so sorry for her, was it his fault? Did he make anything wrong to her? He was supposed to help others, not to make them feeling sad ...

(Just to let you know: no, he can't read the other's past.)
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

(Okay ! But Nat' can't really

(Okay ! But Nat' can't really know that :>)

She felt better when she understood he didn't see what she did. But some blood was droping on his head. • Oh, no, don't worry about that... But... Your head... ? • She tried to clean his wounds as she could. She knew the head could bleed easily, but it was still impressive. She was now more worried for Balthamos than for her past. She wondered what he saw, why he had this reaction. Then, she remember what Balthamos just said. She also added : • I'm not afraid... But... What happend ? • She slighly frowned, curious now, but still worried.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

(I know it right, I just

(I know it right, I just thought it was important to let you know that.)

The ghostly fawn remained perfectly still when Nat-Nat attempted to clean the little wound. " My head ...? Oh, thank you Miss, but it is nothing, really ... Stupid head ... I am not too much used to being ... solid " He blushed lightly, moved by the doe's attentions. Her worried look made him feeling apprehensive. Overlooking the cut, he focused on the question. She said she wasn't afraid ... But how, how to explain everything with few, kind words? Balthamos cleared his troath, uneasy " My head looks little, but is full of ... Memories. Sometimes ... Start to unroll all at the same time. And ... It is not a pleasant thing, Miss Nat-Nat ... And I am weak, I lost control of them easily ... Can you understant this, Miss ? " He asked, a bit mortified because of his previous behaviour.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

(Thank you so

(Thank you so ♥)

Nat-Nat looked at the fawn, trying to hide a surprized face. The fawn and herself had so many similarities... Maybe it was the same story for all the ghost ? She slightly nodded, then answered : • Yes... Yes, I understand. It happens to me too... The memories are so important, so much that, sometimes, they're trying to come back at the same time... All... And your head is like... Destroyed. • She knew this feeling, she knew it so well... She was sorry for Balthamos. She always thought that she was the alone creature to feel that. The alone creature to have too much of memories inside her brain and her heart. She wondered for how many time Balthamos was on this earth. Nat-Nat forgot to count the years. They were too much. And the memories were too much, them too...

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
Kumiko's picture

So, when you came back, it

So, when you came back, it showed you as being offline on MSN and now I can't send messages. D=
Laiia's picture

Hm, Kumiko, I don't know if

Hm, Kumiko, I don't know if we're talking about the same stuff, but I can't send messages to Guardian' right now either on MSN ~

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Uh, guys, thanks for the

Uh, guys, thanks for the interest, but really it's not such a big deal, my msn fails often xD
siggy by Pegasicorn

Oooh hi little mini c:

Oooh hi little mini c:
GuardianGhost's picture

Hi you creepy buck! :3

Hi you creepy buck! :3
siggy by Pegasicorn
Faustt's picture

Tracking c:

Tracking c:
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you! :3

Thank you! :3
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

Aww. &hearts;

Aww. ♥
Congratulations, you have been promoted to "half-pint to be stalked and smothered". Made me just a bit happier to come back and see Mos with Bright.
GuardianGhost's picture

Uhhhh thank you xD It's a

Uhhhh thank you xD
It's a pleasure. Mos was going to sleep in his cradle and saw Brighty all alone, so he decided to cuddle him a bit <3
siggy by Pegasicorn

I'll just leave this here and

I'll just leave this here and leave quietly so you never notice that I actually was here.
GuardianGhost's picture

Rousty. Don't run off. I hate

Rousty.
Don't run off.
I hate you.
Really.
Because I was working on a drawing with the exact same subject and now it is going to look like a totally crap compared to this awesomness!!!
You ninja you beat me on time!!! ç_ç
It looks so perfect, and I hate you so much <3
siggy by Pegasicorn

DDDDDDD''''''8 *burns the

DDDDDDD''''''8 *burns the picture, eats the ashes and throws herself into a trashcan*
I'm sorryyyyyyy. ;;;;;;___;;;;;;

...
I want to see your picture when you get it done. 8''<

*tries to blow up the trashcan*
GuardianGhost's picture

*Rescues a Roustemarras from

*Rescues a Roustemarras from the trashcan*
Pfff you silly you don't have to be sorry it so awesome! <3
...
And no. Really, I don't feel like posting it after seeing your work!
siggy by Pegasicorn