3-6-2020

Just updating character stuff.




So I don't lose the link again: x

2-3-2020

New year same me.
Level up in 4 hours.
Woo.

We almost bought a house o3o Buuut not now. Maybe next year. Ugh. idk how I feel about the whole thing. Definitely sick of this apartment tho.



8-22-2019

Transferring everything important from Tinypic to Dropbox. Tedium.


6-23-2019

Same old same old.
Here but not here.
Doing a lot of lurking lately. Trying to tie up some loose strings and maybe push myself back into activity around here, but we'll see about when.
Watching a lot of "TV" - whatever's on Netflix or free.
Doodling a little, but not enough.
Work, work, work.




So I don't lose the link again: x

---

2-3-2019

Corydora didn't make it. Caught him in his final throes and was at least able to speed it along for him. Too little, too late. Sorry, buddy.

Went to the artist meetup group again today, with my brother's fiancee. We ended up going to IHOP and had a pretty good time. I did a lot of gesture doodles of Rire/deer.
Then we had a little birthday double date with her, my brother, my husband, and me. We went to a Chinese/Japanese place that's new enough that it was quiet in spite of Superbowl Sunday, and had sushi.Back 'home' with Punkin. Had entirely too much coffee way too late in the day, and slept late this morning, so I'm sure my 12 hour shift tomorrow will be interesting... Whoopsie.
Doodled some more. Been itching to create the past few days, today in particular for some reason. Probably just because I haven't in a while because LIFE and once I started doodling it was hard to stop. Music didn't help with that, lol.

Listening to some soothing music, though, to counter a little.

When I was young, I would very often hear music in that world between waking and sleep. It's the most intricate and complex sound I've ever heard, and I can't describe it except to say it must be what Heaven's choir sounds like. A thousand thousand voices and harmonies perfectly blended and touching every sense.
Anyway, I came across the closest thing I've ever found only a couple of years ago, and it popped back up on my playlist tonight. It makes me happy, and peaceful, even if it doesn't reverberate in my heart the way it did when I first heard it. The problem with earthly song is that it is finite, and when it is over you can only repeat it, and it becomes predictable, memorized. It loses the wonder of an ever-shifting aural kaleidoscope, which is never the same twice. It's no less beautiful, but the mind grows conditioned and immune to its color. Still, it makes me smile. I don't hear that eternal song often any more. I can't really say why - maybe because I don't play classical, choral, and instrumental music as much as I used to. Maybe because I pursued visual art instead of musical. Who knows. So finding this was a rediscovered joy, and nostalgic.



I want to do some writing, too, but I'm not entirely sure what about. I just feel a need to be doing creative things, even though I'm not sure what those things should be. With luck, maybe I'll dig myself at least partway out of the artistic rut I've been in over the past few years.

Going to bring my sketchbook and laptop/wacom tablet with me when I have my wisdom teeth out. Maybe I'll doodle when I'm enjoying my pain meds, haha. We'll see.






1-25-2019

Tooth extraction scheduled for Feb. 6.
At least I'll be able to eat cake for my birthday. But I kinda want to return this present.



One of my corydoras is sick. I've treated him twice for pop-eye, and now he's dropsied and has weird flesh bubbles all over. Last time I saw that was with my goldfish before she died many moons ago. I'm not sure he'll make it in the end, but he seems to have a decent appetite in spite of trying to keel over from stress every now and then. Moving him to quarantine AND moving quarantine to the house I'm petsitting at might've been a bit much, but my husband is 100% clueless when it comes to critters so his odds are actually better here than there. So... there's a fish living on these people's kitchen counter lmao.
At least the other fishies seem okay. I treated them with this guy's second round, too, but that treatment didn't seem to help him at all and all the other fish have seemed fine the whole time, so... We're trying the first medication that seemed to help the first go-round but obviously didn't fix the problem. I'm worried whatever it is is probably resistant to this stuff now, but it's what I've got.
Guess I need to name this kiddo.
...And I still need to decide on a name for my betta. Hm.


1-14-2019

Guess who needs to have her wisdom teeth out because her dentist/parents decided they didn't need to do it after all when it was recommended 15 years ago before they had big obnoxious root systems and started growing into her other molars just exactly like her mommy's did?






It's a tooth impaction! Thanks!

I love spending money on easily preventable problems!
sigh

My tooth hurts

A little stiff lately, but meh.
Sleep study has led to pretty much nowhere except Frustration Town for me. The sleep center and my doctors didn't really communicate much from what I can gather, no one has shown me the actual results, just asked me if I've gotten a CPAP yet (before even telling me I needed one loooool) and then the otolaryngologist (say that five times fast) says I don't need one, go ask the gen-prac for B12 injections and exercise. Because that fixes everything. Sure, Doc, I'll just fall asleep driving and take myself and a few innocent bystanders out in the meantime. No biggie.
Blue Cross Blue Shield came back to the Healthcare Marketplace this year, THANK GOODNESS, because as much as I don't really like BCBS that much (omg I was on hold for them literally for 3+ hours once, and already 30 minutes just today to get them to unlock my account - a literal press of a button for them - after I entered the wrong password and froze it, because FOR SOME STUPID REASON it doesn't automatically un-freeze itself after a few hours. EVEN MY BANK DOES THAT. I DON'T HAVE TO CALL THE BANK TO UNLOCK MY ACCOUNT IF IT GETS FROZEN, I JUST WAIT LIKE 6 HOURS. THANKS, BCBS.) -- they cover our preferred/previous doctors, so I can ditch these guys who don't communicate with each other OR me and maybe get some dadgum answers.

Otherwise doing okay. Changed my thyroid medication a couple of days ago. I seem to have a little more energy since then? but it's only been a few days so it's hard to tell if it's coincidence or not yet. Fingers crossed! The thyroid seems to be about the only thing I can really claim this set of doctors has done right for me. I've noticed that my GI issues have reduced pretty significantly in the past few months since I've been on thyroid medication, so I'm beginning to suspect much of my IBD was related to my thyroid being out of whack. Two birds, one pill. I like it. Especially since I probably won't need to pursue the colonoscopy said doctor wanted. No thx pls.

Although really, I should probably start a BINGO sheet or some kind of "diagnostic bucket list" for all the tests I can/have had/will have run... That could be interesting. I wonder what the prize should be?








12-18-2018

Welp. I guess it's about time for my monthly update, huh?
Doing okay. Tired, as always.
If you'd like some stream of consciousness rambling, longer version is already in the past updates.
tldr version:
- Money is stupid. Husband needs to get a job gosh-darn-it!
- Holiday madness! Busy busy busy!
- Really tired of being busy
- ANXIETY AND FEELS
- Ivi why are you awake at 5:30 you've been typing for like an hour about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING go tf to sleep.
- Oh yeah but...
- NO GO TO SLEEP
- But I still have thoughts--
- NO.
- ok ilu bye hug ur kitties


12-18-2018

Welp. I guess it's about time for my monthly update, huh?
Doing okay. Tired, as always.
Had a sleep study done. Going to see an ENT this week. I'm pretty over doctors and insurance and stuff. Bleh.
Petsitting is about to pick up a looooot in the next couple of weeks. I have one right now, start another this morning (why am I up at 4:30 anyway ugh can't sleep), the third starts Wednesday, then I get two more on Saturday so I'll have 5 at once... Thankfully I think that's my peak. Then I drop one on Christmas and pick up another the day after... One gets back on the 27th, then I pass the remaining 4 on to two coworkers the afternoon of the 28th to go see my grandma over the weekend, pick them all back up late Sunday or early Monday... That's a whole 'nother mess, leaving my babies and having someone else watch them. Anyway. Things start tapering off after that, and everyone's back home after the first week or so of January.
Then I have a month long live-in stint. They brought down my price like 26%, but it's still a decent chunk of change so I guess I can't complain.
Husband is still unemployed. He's applying for a PhD. ¯\_(?)_/¯ This after he said 'you and the therapist were right, I need a job/source of income' but okay.
To his credit, he *is* writing grants and continuing to work with his nonprofit group, so he's not 100% idle, but... idk. It's just really hard not to be resentful sometimes when I'm pulling 12+ hour days in a workplace that eliminated lunch breaks because they "decreased" productivity/"removed personnel at a critical time period". Plus petsitting. Plus struggling with health issues that are new and therefore aren't well managed like his are. And he's been better about it lately because he recognizes it's an important source of income, but like... he's had the gall before to say I petsit/work too much and it detracts from our "us" time and wears me down too much.
Well help a girl out, then!
Sigh.
We aren't under water yet, but you can only tread for so long before your head starts dipping. My savings account is a measly 16% of what it was this time two years ago. Boy needs to find him a damn boat, fast, and he's digging in heels about going back to his therapist (because it costs money but obviously he's not listening to *me* so...). Maybe I'll just make an appointment with her and tell him we're going to get lunch and just show up there instead. Hm.
I wonder if she'd let me do that, lmao. I might just ask.

omg I found two fleas on my cat, and now I'm paranoid. I got them all back on track with their prevention (I missed a month... BAD MOM), but I keep preening his fur to make sure there aren't more.
BATHS FOR EVERYONE SOON. Gotta let the preventative spread with the body oils first. Sitting on my hands waiting. Except not because they're busy being monkey hands and picking for bugs.
They better not get tapeworms from this. Ugh.

And I keep thinking about leaving for 3 days (2 and a half, whatever) and what if Rowan gets another urinary blockage? The people watching him aren't going to know what to look for, and even if they did he's not going to let them touch him. I have a spot saved in the boarding schedule at work, just in case, but he gets so stressed there it just doesn't seem worth it to stay two nights, and I don't know that he would take his medicine there like he would at home. So many pros and cons on each side. I'm probably just extra worried because we've had several traumatic things happen at work in short succession recently, mainly involving things dying or becoming extremely ill while no one is there. Just makes my stomach churn. Absolutely awful. And I just keep envisioning Rowan struggling to pee and getting sicker and sicker and no one being there to help him. *I* almost missed him blocking the first time, and I'm a licensed professional who knows exactly what to look for in those situations, AND I'm his full-time caretaker who knows his habits and expressions. How can I expect a stranger checking on him once or twice a day to notice something is wrong? And I know it's been months since his last block and his urine tests have improved but... ugh, *what if*. Just makes me sick.

tldr; nothing's changed, Ivi's still a bundle of nerves who stays up way too late at night and needs to clock her husband over the head with a shovel and go bury him in the back yard and then go snuggle her kittens.

SILVER LINING: I'm only scheduled to work 10 hours this pay period, so aside from petsitting and appointments I'll have a little bit of downtime. Maybe I'll try out the mindful breathing feature on my little pedometer watch. Which, btw, you definitely get what you pay for when you get a cheap-o knockoff... but at least it counts my steps lol.

Oh! Maybe I'll draw and color some more. That was a lot of fun, although I think it was more fun because I was doing it for someone else, and not for me. I'll have to put some pictures up here, for those who don't keep up with the art Discord server.
There's a new group of artists who meet up occasionally, that I've been going to. Maybe I'll come up with a project to work on while I'm there. I kinda feel like a third wheel because a lot of the core group went to school together and I'm just some random person, but I'm trying to be social and not failing miserably. Progress! Ivi is adulting!

This turned out to be a much longer update than I thought it was going to be. Probably because I haven't had anywhere to write/vent in a while. There's not a lot going on, but also so much going on.
Hm.

I feel like... I've been a very shallow person for a long time. Just, in that I haven't had the time or energy to cultivate much beyond surface-level thoughts and emotions for a long time. My creativity has stagnated because I just haven't been able to stretch out and put it to work. Everything is very routine lately, aside from the helter-skelter of figuring out health stuff. I'm actually pretty close to a burnout point with work... I've had a lot of days where I just don't feel like being there, which is really unfortunate, because I really do enjoy what I do in general. I think there are a lot of things contributing to that, but mainly I'm just tired. I need a week or so where I don't have to go to work, or petsit, or do anything except maybe go for a walk. I'd love to go to the zoo, but I'd have to go alone, which isn't as much fun but I might actually enjoy it more alone because I don't have to worry about other people. Which maybe is another part of the burnout. I just don't have a lot of time to focus on me, and when I'm done focusing on whoever else I have to worry about, I'm just done.

This is getting really ramble-y. ¯\_(?)_/¯

And my thoughts are starting to jump railroad tracks so I think I'm just going to make myself go to bed at this point before we start doing loops.




11-4-2018

Tomorrow I will have been married for two years. And it's coming up on 11 years in TEF. Man, time flies.

I have a Bean hanging onto my arm, so I can't type.
Oh well.
Have a (STILL VERY CLINGY) Jellybean in lieu of a real update.


He blep.




10-2-2018

My husband is the biggest, most obnoxious dummy ever AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

I asked for a bottle of water and he brought me water, green tea, and my favorite Gatorade.

I am pretty sick and as much as I want to be participating in the Rut I didn't even go to work today because I've felt so crappy and I think I've missed like 5 days of work in 10 years so that's a big thing. So. Just sticking to things that don't require much thought or energy. Two years in a row being sick for the Rut uuuuuugh. At least I'm not in excruciating pain this time. Just feeling super ooky. Maybe I'll throw someone in to people-watch later. I opened a window a while ago and up and forgot about it so I guess Rohit is sleeping somewhere randomly oh well.
Blugh.
Nap time.


9-23-2018
Aaaaand we're back! Kinda.

Somehow I've already broken it. lmao
Just... just don't click on the "Other" tab ok. Pretend it isn't even there.
YOU SAW NOTHING.

Name: Not used.
Alias: "Aivilo" or "Ivi" work fine. Will also answer to "Lepisma" or "Lepismatidae".
Pronunciation

Gender: Female
Age: 31
Joined TEF: Dec 26, 2007
Contact: Post here, or Email (AiviloTEF@outlook.com)
Occupation: Licensed Veterinary Technician (LVT)

x 2018, 2020: “THE MEDIATOR” (INFP-T); Diplomat; Constant Improvement
-- Growth:
---- 2015: ISFJ

x ♒ Earth Dragon

+ Reading, Writing, Drawing, Coding/Technology, Music, Singing, Daydreaming, Puzzles & Story Games, Cats, Animals, Purple, Green, Gold, Red, Blue

- Math... uh... some other stuff I'll think of later

All deer listed below are In Character unless otherwise noted.

"Active" "D" (OOC) Rohit Phaios & Endriaga Laurel Sedirea

"Inactive" Rire Candlelight 'One of Many'

"Noms de Plume" 'The Dreamer' 'The Fawn' 'The Asshole'

Detractis detrahere concipere ac ut et inveniant to. Im perductae ut at ecclesiae assentiri eo. Ea ergo ausi ac otii suas. Utrum me sequi falsi ut atque. Existeret conformes his rei scientiis. Virorum corpora hac iis brachia. Ii ha quaeque ab sentiat alteram co. Memoriae sub mem rogassem integram assignem est interdum. Existat haberet replere meliora sentiat lus jam. Evidentem persuadeo ob ei excaecant evidentia ad oblivisci perductae ha.

Serie volui potui iis paulo uno primo nulli est. Liberet effingo im gi quantum id ad facilem. Vul obturabo lectione vix uti potestis collecta. Mutationum praevidere de ad existentia advertatur transferre agnoscitur. Age attigeram has vereorque hoc contingit realitate medicinam lor. Vi verbis at me mutata videor primas ad. Imo uti exponuntur facultatem substantia uno. Scire audio eo in situs modis. Vel voluntate perceptio reddendum componant cau tot.

Re porro omnia vi im serio is. Ea geometras eversioni ad pergamque. Toga sic mei has loco viam nota luce veri. Dem his quam ipsi boni. Dubium altera cau duo nihilo summam lumini nia humano. Se jactantur id distinguo im videantur ut. Scriptum inquiram eo deinceps permulta ac.

Ut to illae clare me vitae hausi. Sic cujus venti lor vapor minor creet veris. Assignetur addiscerem ne ad discrepant si. Ut ne videmur rotunda studiis quasdam quaeque et. Praestari ii deleantur potestque animalium archetypi at. Florum lus hac secius negari opinor una videor fuerim mea. Se nunc ob eo unde to vere. Ex dubium mundum gi postea.

Externarum nec quaedamque collabitur realitatem quodammodo cui nec cum. Ille ausi dari ex ab at de enim utor. Serio fecto non talia sed. Anno tria fide ex addi esto ab at. Mirabar at ei verarum ut eo ignorem. Imaginando vel credidique hac operatione eam sae. END.