Return and some Personal babble.

OnyxOryx's picture
Hey... It's been a while.

I've decided to try to get back into things here. My last attempt failed and I wasn't comfortable yet. But now I think I can return. Even if sparse or slow. I miss this place.. strangely. I miss the interactions and the characters. With all thats going on.. It'd be nice to just have a place to go again.

I've had some pretty big changes in my life. Some good, others bad.

A few years ago.. i think? 2 maybe? My dad had to get a double bypass. He handled the surgery well and was doing great. About a month or so later, he got diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer. A very aggressive and fast moving cancer. He would be the 4th of his siblings to come down with Cancer. Lung cancers took 2 of his sisters and one of his brothers already.

So... We fought. It was hell. He went through pain and illness and losing a lot of himself during chemo and radiation. But we caught the Cancer early. As of 2019, he has been officially in remission. He's not out of the woods yet. He needs to keep getting checkups for several more years to make sure it doesnt come back, but so far, he is a survivor.

All this culminated into a stress breaking point in me. I had sudden chest pain and feared i might have suffered a minor heart attack. Thankfully, my EKG came back fine and I was okay. I was then put on Prozac for depression and anxiety. Still trying to figure out the right meds and doses but the anti-depressants are helping a lot.

I've gained some friends. Lost a few that to this day I still dearly miss... But sometimes, even long term friendships just dont make it. But I'm okay with that. I've actually found a girlfriend as well and she is amazing.

But again, life has it's ups and downs. My aunt, dad's sister, had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They couldn't identify the type as it was all through her body. She recently passed from it and it was rough on both me and my dad. That would be a 4th sibling to be taken by cancer. 4/7.. There is only my dad, his brother, and one last sister remaining.

All this going on during this horrible Covid pandemic. We did not hold a funeral for my aunt. We also must be very careful because dad is in that 'highly likely to die' category if he gets covid. So far, so good.

My cat, Zero. The love of my life and my little furbaby has become diabetic. Thankfully, even on disability, we can afford to manage his diabetes. He only a 7 year old cat. But treatment is going okay. We are still trying to work out the proper dose of insulin, but he's acting like an actual cat again.

Through all of this, I've been working to better myself and with that, came the thoughts of this place. It has changed.. Many I once knew are gone.. Some still remain. But, with all that's going on, I thought it was finally time to try again. So.. now that I've made this way longer than intended, I want to say..

Hi... I'm coming back.
OshiBoo's picture


I remember seeing you around

I remember seeing you around here, its great to see you're back. I'm so sorry to hear you've had to go through everything you did. That must of been rough, I offer my sympathies and condolences and I wish you the best. It's great you're making efforts and you're getting better, that's always a plus. Feel free to toss your characters at mine or say hi on discord. I'm normally always around. ♥

Welcome back! (:
OrinocoFlow's picture

Goodness you’ve suffered

Goodness you’ve suffered through a lot. I am glad that you can see the sunshine through all that rain. It takes a lot of strength to push through something like that. I will keep you in my prayers.
You do not have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body.
~ C.S. Lewis
Freyja's picture

I'm a dummy who didn't

I'm a dummy who didn't realise that was you yesterday!
I'm excited to see you back, missed ya. And i'm sorry to hear about all you've been going through.
I hope this place might help a little
Aivilo's picture

I thought I saw your name the

I thought I saw your name the other day.
Sorry to hear things have been rough for you. It's good to see you back, though.
OnyxOryx's picture

(No subject)

<3 Thanks all. Things are getting better. Felt it was the right time to come back so here I am ^_^. It's good to see many of you still around, even if I rarely interacted with some of you. Hopefully that will change and I'll get to know more of you better 8D.