The Flower-Growing Friars

Alecsander's picture
"Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water."~Dave Barry

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Some friars wanted to do more for their flock but their vow of poverty, simple lifestyle and lack of gainful employment meant that their supply of available funds was, to say the least, meager. Nevertheless, they put their collective heads together and came up with the idea of opening a small florist shop. They reasoned that they could grow most of the flowers on the church grounds, and what they couldn't grow, they could likely pick from the surrounding countryside.

As you can probably guess, everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God and their little business flourished. So much so that the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close their little shop, but their flower business was providing them with much-needed funds for their good works and they refused. He went back time and again, finally begging the friars to close. By this time, they had tired of the florist's constant whining and they ignored him. The florist even asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the flower business, but they ignored her, too.

By this time, the florist was nearly bankrupt and in desperation hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" the good friars to close. Being a man of few morals and even fewer religious convictions, Hugh had no ethical problems with his assigned task and promptly gave the friars a thorough beating and trashed their store. He departed with a stern warning that he’d be back if they didn’t close the shop. Terrified, the friars did so immediately, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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Quick post of a story that I heard at some point but cannot remember who to accredit it to. Figured it'd be a nice little story to share with the community to go a long with my recent groaners.

Working on back logged due art and multiple metal working projects.
Going to be re-scanning my rough sketches and cleaning them up next weekend. Hopefully when I get a second chance to do so.
Serenai's picture

-Chortle.- God I love your

-Chortle.-

God I love your shaggy dog stories, even when they have nothing to do with shaggy dogs.
Icon Art © Beloved
trigger_mortis's picture

*snicker* This made my day,

*snicker* This made my day, thank you. Smiling
Alecsander's picture

surprisingly enough I don't

surprisingly enough I don't actually know any shaggy dog stories that indeed involve a shaggy dog.
ocean's picture

-snork- That was a good one.

-snork-
That was a good one. |D
Serenai's picture

I know one. >D

I know one. >D
Icon Art © Beloved